Absolving Trust Issues Check this its repeat idea
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Matthew 7:7 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
Luke 11:9 So I tell you; ask and it will be given to you: seek and you will find: know and the door will be opened to you.
2 Timothy 1:9 For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan.
Most friendships and deeper relationships grow only after developing a foundation of trust. Trust is needed before the relationship can grow and develop. And it takes time to build trust. Persons may be in your circle yet are not in the friend category. You generally are not sharing anything except that is important to you. Conversation is generally of the ‘how’s the weather’ type of topics, which don’t really need trust. If it is a cashier, you might glance at and mentally have tallied what your change will be, but that is it. There is no sharing of deep secrets, and intimate feelings. There is no real investment with that exchange or relationship with that person. It takes time before some surface confidences deepen.
But friends and friendships are totally different. Those are important and require a foundation, a sturdy, not leaky foundation. And until you have a firm foundation, you don’t share the most intimate details of your life—good or bad.
I think most of the women in my circles tend to be trusting when they initially meet someone and will give the benefit of doubt until and unless someone breaks the trust. There are many ways to break trust—gossiping, lying, consistently making plans and not showing up, stealing, saying hurtful things—not necessarily a lie, but a deep jab, using someone’s weakness or sensitivity against them. It’s been a long time, thankfully, that I have been with females who behave like that, but I well remember the cliques in high school and the mean-spirited, hurtful thrusts.
And all good relationships take time to develop. Along the same hesitant vein as building human relationships, it often takes time for us to build and trust in Jesus. Oftentimes, this is even more difficult for some as you can’t see Him. You don’t always hear a verbal guide, promise, or loving comment. You have to open the Bible, to study WHO His word says He is, and test it. He stands by His word, His promises. He encourages you to test His word. Our God is steady, sturdy, stable, and substantial. But, like all relationships, we sometimes need to test if He will really be there, will really rescue and guide us. That is from our uncertainties because of previous human relationships we have had during our life, as well as the times we recognize we were not the most sturdy and dependable in a relationship. We have learned to be mistrustful, hesitant, guarded. . .and ‘can it REALLY be? He wants me, He chose me? Me?’ It can be a humbling thought to know that God chose you.
And yes, He chose even me! All this doubt, uncertainty comes until you know in your heart, mind and soul, that YES, HE WANTS YOU! HE LOVES YOU. He knows who you are—all your faults, flaws, sins, and muck and mire…He knows, and is so thankful that You chose Him back. He’s always chosen you, and He waited patiently for YOU to choose HIM.
The delay was yours. God loves unconditionally and waits steadfastly for us to realize He loves us and wants to support and embrace us. He is consistent, steady, loving, forgiving, and wants to help us and give us rest always. The mistrust comes from us—our past has hindered or experienced broken trust relationships. It may have started as very young children seeing “loving” parents fight, hurt, and create havoc in a home, being told that parents love one another, then seeing/hearing/witnessing the opposite of any kind of love and respect.
It may have been a friend who lied, gossiped, ridiculed you; it may have been a peer or someone you worked with who ‘stole’ your work and passed it off as their own, it may have been a sibling stealing something you valued, or lying about something in which you were punished, but they were not. Our mistrust is caused by people, not by God, yet, because we don’t see Him, sit on His lap, and fully trust what we can’t see, we doubt. And sometimes our prayers are not answered in the manner we prayed and wished for—someone died yet we wanted, believed and expected their full recovery; wanted their full recovery; someone is living with addiction, and because we know God’s word says ‘Ask, Seek, Knock and you will receive’ (Matt 7:7-12) we expect immediate gratification to what we pray for. If our prayers are not answered according to OUR desires, we begin to question the bond of trust.
We frequently need to see Him be steadfast and sturdy and experience the evidence of Him being in our life, before we fully trust. Listening to what He says when we pray can help us become more trusting. We may have to wait, the answer may be different than what we prayed for, and we are left feeling adrift, lost, hurt and confused.
We don’t know God’s mind, but we do know He has good plans for us, plans to prosper and not to hinder (Jeremiah 29:11). But when we don’t always see the results of our prayers the way we want, we wonder, maybe wander a bit away from His truth, staying on the fringes, but the bonds of trust have weakened. We are a people who expect immediate gratification, and what we want when we ask or expect.
Early in my walk with Jesus, I would test frequently. It was the story of Gideon in Judges 6 which had me walking forward and saying “I accept.” So for a long while, I tested. “God, I’m not sure if this is right. If I should do this, then this will happen, but if You want this, then another will happen.” I was new, not in a strong church with bible studies, and so on, so I was not reading the bible often, and when I was, my mind danced in dizzying circles trying to understand the KJV and proper English. So I depended on the “fleece” results for years.
I had some good Christian friends, bought a good easier to understand bible, and found a new church in the area I had moved. Let me tell you how shocked and apologetic I was to read, “You should not test the Lord your God.” (Deuteronomy 6:16, and Matthew 4:7).
Aw-oh! I had tested and used “fleeces” for years! Yikes, maybe He was disgusted with me now. But I ‘began studying more diligently and found God is steady, sturdy, long suffering and Knows me long before my parents were interested in one another! I grew in my knowledge of who He is, and who I am to He wants to me to become. I attended bible studies, hung with other Christian women, continued reading and seeking. And I grew in my knowledge—and my trust. So then it was relationship rather than scary deity. I became secure He loved me—but I would get nervous when He was silent sometimes, but I learned the issue was mine. It is the Holy Spirit who leads us to answers, uncovers hidden sins, blockades to deepening our relationship with God. It is the Holy Spirit who puts verses in our minds, who is our Counselor. Romans 8:26-28, John 14:16
I do trust in this relationship and in His word. I share them when I can and believe in His promises. I may never see some of the things I am praying for come to pass—all family members being saved, but even if they accept when I am in the everlasting home, promise kept.
Thank You, God. You patiently let me examine the bricks of trust in this relationship and You just kept adding to them, until my whole heart was in. Thank You that I am so much less mistrustful and hesitant now. You have opened me to many wonderful friends and adventures. Thank You for all You continue to do for me and ‘mybellaviews.’