Are you Patient?
Matt 6:25,27 “Therefore, I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; not about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?…Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?”
Psalm 94:19 In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul.
Proverbs 12:25 Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad.
I used to find myself worrying all the time. All the time. Was I doing this correctly? Had I written my best and done my best to finish an assignment for school? Would I get a good grade? And as an adult, will I have enough money this week for groceries and to buy school clothes for my son? My dog is sick and I can’t afford to take him to the vet. And you can easily get the idea . . . worry, fret, worry, fret some more.
Initially, when I was first accepting God’s invitation, I expected all of life’s problems to be a gone, finished. After all, I belonged to God. He is the Supreme, the Almighty, and He loves me. Everything would be smooth sailing for all time. And I wouldn’t have to do anything.
No, that’s not the way it works. You don’t just say I believe, and then go willy-nilly about your business. So when I began hanging with others who had more experience with the faith, with bible studies and learning, I started studying more and realized this is a relationship; and in a relationship there is give and take, dependency, trust, following, maintaining contact, and learning new things about the other all the time.
But as I came to read more of God’s words, thoughts and promises, to attend new and different bible studies, and to have other Christians begin to mentor with me, I began to see that He does not want us worrying and fretting. He wants us to work hard at whatever task we have, but not to fret and become burdened. He wants us to release those negative feelings to Him. God wants to help us in all areas of our lives. It is not just a suggestion when His word says several times, “Come and I will give you rest.” He wants that for us. (Oh, so You mean things like ‘do not be anxious….come and You will let me rest….You will allow me to not tire and to have eagle’s wings….’)
I have to say I now release many of my frustrations to Him. But yes, oh yes, I still get inordinately frustrated if I cannot find my keys when I have to be somewhere at a certain time. It almost seems like I don’t lose my keys unless I have an appointment! My phone is another thing I lose often. Oh, it’s somewhere in the house, but where? What was I doing when I last used it? Laundry? Oh great, I have three floors and changed all the beds, and have been cooking and doing chores on each floor of the house. It would be nice if I could call it and locate it; but alas can’t call it without a phone!
Finally, I did get a locator beep system for both keys and phone; if I lose either, I just press the remote and follow the sound of the beep. Much less aggravation now.
I try to be kinder to myself by avoiding scold mode; “Why don’t you have a specific place to keep keys? How could you lose them? You needed them to drive home. Yes, car is in driveway. Hmm, could keys be in ignition? Down two flights of stairs, no, not there…” I know God wants us to not fret, worry, and get frustrated. And I have gotten better at not getting as irritated as I did.
Now I tend to ask Him where my items are, and try to wait to hear the reminder of the last placement. Oh, right! That’s where I dropped them!
You can probably guess at the rest of the litany until I find the item. Once found, then it’s “Thank You, thank You, thank You, Father. I’m sorry I got frustrated with this loss. I KNOW I am not supposed to let this stuff bug me. I SO appreciate You reminding me where the item might be.”
As I am rushing around looking, I can hear the gentle voice reminding me to not get excited, this is a test. I have gotten better; my scores used to be about a D+ in the patience and worry departments. Now I’m probably a B+. I worry so much less, but still I can feel frustrations build in me during times like this. And I know the beast is around hoping I will fail so he can remind me I am not good, still haven’t got ‘control’ to not lose patience, and you’re truly such a failure. I can refute him and his lies, and pull out scripture and send him scurrying. And be pleased, that I know how to relieve myself of his lies, and to get him to slink away
If I feel an underlying niggle of disquiet, I ask God what’s going on. “Are You trying to get my attention about something? Have I an unconfessed sin, or something else You want me to deal with?” I know He does not give us a spirit of fear. I also know who does. If after praying, I have no clear direction as to the cause of the unease, I know it is the beast who lies. And okay, cool, “I don’t follow you, so done with the disquiet and come Holy Spirit to relieve me .” Such a relief to know I have this available to me. I am not alone. My God is with me and He does not want me worried, afraid, and overburdened. He is there. He just wants me to be grateful to Him, to trust Him and to be the best I can be with His direction.
I am so blessed You guide me and “mybellaviews.”