Joshua 1:9 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
Psalm 55:22 Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.
Jeremiah 17:7-8 But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sens out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when the heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries ina year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.
Luke 12:25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about , but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Before I had a relationship with God, I thought I was in charge, and burdened myself with thoughts on responsibility, duty, keeping all the balls in the air as though they were uncooked eggs. Nothing could fall to the ground, everything had to be handled. And of course, I worried about “what if…” And the spins my mind could whirl and twirl around were horrific. Sleeping was intermittent, as negative dreams would spur me into wakefulness, and the worries would trip over themselves like a running stream.
And of course, NOW I know that not one of those worries helped me; IN fact, I think they were detrimental to me and to my family. I’m sure I was cross, preoccupied with anxiety, fear, and really….”what if…?”
Yes, that devil Satan was alive and well in my mind, consistently showing me my flaws, my failings, my mistakes, and my LACK.
I certainly didn’t totally know God. I knew Him in a nebulous, cloudy way; I certainly did not have a relationship, did not expect answers to questions, and am fairly sure my prayers beside my bed each night were recited as rote. They were not heartfelt, they were dutiful…although I really believed that “Now I lay me down to sleep…” was wrapping me in His protection.
I tried to control outcomes all the time; I certainly had to keep the eggs in the air. Smashed raw eggs are such a slimy mess to clean!
But then I learned more about Jesus, and in all honesty it took a long while for me to grow in a relationship. I had trust issues, worth issues, control issues, and was frequently frustrated seeking an answer and WAITING. Did He answer and I missed it? Is this not important enough for Him to guide me? Am I being foolish with this so He is not going to help? Am I not good enough and He really does not care about me? Maybe I am one of those that He just cannot endure. He is SO busy taking care of everyone in the world, and I am so bad…He must just be disappointed in me all the time. And on and on and round and round my worries circled.
Gradually, I learned more, grew in the knowledge He is not dismissive and one to hold a grudge, or not forgive. But it was a slow process for me to develop the trust needed to believe Him, believe that He is Truth and Light. And how could I give up control for this being I couldn’t see, and trust that He truly cared about me and my life and choices. So I tried to stubbornly cling to the things I did know, and of course the process stalled with me pulling all my doubts and “what if…” over and over. How can anyone have so many of those? They are catastrophic scenarios, and they drain the energy away. I felt that I was being drained and stressed, but I did not see another way then.
But then I realized how many wonderful things I have—eyesight to enjoy beautiful birds, flowers, the many blues of a sky, the varied colors of the ocean, the mountains, the autumn colors especially up north, the smile of pleasure and surprise on a face of someone important to me. But wait, that’s not all… I can hear those pretty birds, they also sing and praise God daily, the ocean has a quiet splashing to a mighty, strong and vicious roar, there’s a babbling brook, the sound of leaves falling to the ground and then the swish as you walk through them, and with that pleasure and surprised look on a precious face, there is an exclamation of joy, pleasure, and maybe thankfulness.
Satan loves to lie, to fill us with fear, anxiety, and worry. His goal is to fill us with upset, unease, and negative thoughts. “He comes to steal, kill, and destroy…” John 10:10. Steal your joy, kill you from eternal life, and destroy your peace and harmony and prosperity. The goal is our death—no eternal life, no forgiveness, no peace, no freedom and no confidence that one day you will see Jesus face to face!
How could I spend time worrying about catastrophic scenarios that MIGHT happen, when I have so much to be thankful for, to enjoy, and realize the abundance of gifts I have been granted. I know that no one is worthy and we are each forgiven and given eternal life by grace, by a GIFT, if we accept Jesus as our Savior.
Satan was certainly alive and well and chatting away to me reminding me how terrible I am, how unworthy, and on and on. And because his voice was familiar, it was easy to agree with him. It took a long time to convince myself he was lying—it had to be a repetitive mantra until it finally sank in, and I was able to face his lies and tell him to move on out of my life. And it happened often, because he would try to weasel his way back into my mind.
Such a waste of time I committed worrying about things that could happen, and feeling how unforgiveable I am, and being anxious because of it all. Certainly, I am so relieved and thankful I finally believe He loves me, He has taken my place, and I am awarded eternal life and He has prepared a special place for me. John 14:2,3.
How different and smoother, easier and more pleasurable life feels now. Worry is not something I have dealt with in a long time. I have confidence that nothing can mess me so badly that God will not be there to help me deal with it. It is so freeing to not worry, to not feel burdened, and there seems to be even more things in my life to be thankful for. I am blessed and freed and saved!
Lord, I am so thankful that You saved me from all the torment I spun and helped me realize that your love is true and sure. Thank You for all you have done and given to my and ‘mybellaviews.’