Women and Friends
Galatians 6:2 Bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ
Romans 12:10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another
1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.
I don’t think most women are good about asking for help in many areas of their lives. Often we pretend there are no great concerns, and emotional baggage. There seems to be a purveyance of ‘my life is smooth and everything goes forward without a hitch.’ Or perhaps it is not that life goes on with no problems, but problems should be kept at home, private, amongst the family members. Women will confide in close friends or family members, but only when they have exhausted all their own ideas to fix a situation. They hope there is no judgment from the other. There must be a lot of trust, and one will hopes the feedback will not be judgmental. I think judgment is a fear we wonder about and since we judge ourselves so harshly, we don’t want to risk hearing that perhaps others will judge us the same. (‘Oh, even more shame as I am as awful as I think!’) But we ALL know the Lord says that judgment is HIS, and He has given us a way to be free from the dark hold of sin….when we confess and remember that Jesus died on the cross for our freedom.
We all want to hope and think we are doing a fairly good job in life. For the most part, I would guess that persons who do not know Jesus intimately, may think they are doing a good job of juggling kids, spouse, house and work. They may have no clue that they are angry and rude to the children, ignore the husband and then complain about him behind his back to co-workers, acquaintances or even in front of the kids. They may whine about the job, the lack of help around the house and so forth. And possibly these same women who are getting help from the spouses around the house, then criticize the help as not to their standards, and cause hurt and anger to build.
Yet, at church or with other believers, they might just smile and say how great life is, ‘no worries, no issues’ and yet not feel even loved, never mind like life is good. We are often unwilling to ask for help. And help could be meeting a friend, a Christian sister for a cup of coffee, a distance-sharing on a deck or porch, a walk on the beach or around a neighborhood, or whatever. Women need supportive, Jesus loving women in their lives to mentor, guide, encourage, and to love them.
Why do women feel they have to put on a happy face? It is not just ‘putting on my face’ and applying some makeup before a public appearance, but they put on the happy face, when they feel burdened, discouraged, and or maybe worried and fearful. We hide in plain sight. We think we are weak, whiny, needy if we say we are not managing well. But all need help sometimes, and it is so much better to ask early rather than when you are about to burst or shatter with the pressure of whatever issues. Women are usually very supportive. We are the chief caregivers the Lord created after he made Adam. We are the helpmate. But women listen well, are supportive, usually empathetic, and will volunteer to help “lift” the load. Maybe it is making a meal, sharing picking up the children, and often it is just listening, offering a hug and a shoulder, and feeling heard.
The more negative, hurt, angry our thoughts, the further we slink from God. He already knows your burdens, worries, hurts, angers, disappointments, and so forth. If you won’t chat with Him–and He knows anyway,– you are burying yourself under. God has given us “sisters” in life who love us, encourage us, and teach us–women who help, listen, offer support, and encouragement, and steer you to place your burdens with Him–and trust that He has this. Women need women to share emotional ups, downs, worries, and joys. With good friends we have a wonderfully strong and supportive network, a network of confidence and trust and love.
You know that person(s) has/have your back. Our Christian friends will give honest, loving support, help, and advice. They can remind you of bible verses, stories, and that Jesus is waiting to guide one through. They will pray for you, your issue and your family and concerns. We sometimes just mire ourselves so deeply that we need to be reminded to take the ‘yoke off’ as you don’t see oxen resting at day’s end with a yoke binding them together when they need to be refreshing for the next day. Isaiah 10:27
Don’t let pride hold you from sharing, confessing and reaching out to your sister in Christ. You never know, but you may be reaching out and they are having burdens too. Jesus wants us to walk together…if one falls down the other can help him up.
Certainly, I hope I am a friend considered to be trustworthy, confidential, and without condemnation. I have been blessed with many such friends, so thank You for them.
Lord, You know how often and how much the friends You have given me have helped and molded me and ‘mybellaviews.’