Whoa, my impatience

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2 Chronicles 15:7     But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.

Psalm 27:14     Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD.

Psalm 40:1     I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry.

Psalm 41:3     The LORD sustains him on his sickbed; in his illness you restore him to full health.

Psalm 147:3     He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.

Ecclesiastes 7:8     The end of something is better that its beginning.  Patience is better than pride.

Jeremiah 17:14     Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for you are my praise.

Jeremiah 33:3     Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.

Romans 12:12     Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Philippians 4:6     Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made know to God.

Colossians 3:12     Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

James 5:8     You also must be patient.  Keep your hopes high, for the day of the Lord’s coming is near

 

This has been a time of thankfulness for me–my injuries could have been a lot worse and I could have suffered real spinal damage or if hit head hard enough, perhaps a bleed that was terminal.  Thankfully, that did not happen.  So, although I can pray no one else has to experience this discomfort and pain that I initially was dealing with, things are better now.  

I can move quite well with my walker, although trying to lie on one side or another is still uncomfortable after about 30-45 seconds even with pillow or something to rest that right leg.  

But in the healing and feeling better, now I am restless.  My norm has always been if I need something or want something, I jump in the car and go get it, do whatever I want to do for errands, meeting folks for lunch, taking friends out, and now I am STUCK.  I can’t just get up and GO.  

I also hate to ask for help.  It doesn’t set well to be in a dependent position and although so far I have kept my mouth shut, my brain is screaming about returning — speedily — to life as I knew it.   I know the good Lord has been dealing with me and my impatience for years–and I have attained a low modicum of increased patience.   But now, I am left temporarily dependent.  

My care has been awesome both at Onslow Memorial and Carolinaeast Rehab, and now being at my son and daughter in law’s, and my body can be quick to remind me why I cannot presently be independent, my mind is beginning to complain and grumble.  I am blessed that my brother is nearby and he and my sister in law are willing and able to do pet care for both my dog and two cats; and have great space on a single floor to practice walking, we have been out walking a few times and things are improving.  But slow.  

But I think this was part of His purpose.  I was living free as a bird, running here and there, grateful for my good health, but not fully recognizing dependence.  After all, it was never going to happen to me.  Oops!  Surprise!  

So now, I have to rein in my lack of patience for a few more weeks, continue to be thankful for the blessings I have — family, friends, prayer warriors,  and all the skilled teaching of rehab. 

At least, I am able to do laundry now, get my own coffee or cold drinks, Scott is a yummy and talented cook! so I truly have no reason to whine–except that nasty bit of patience.  And I have decided that if I am grateful in asking Him to give me more patience and get me healed to handle all the stairs I have, I can resume a good portion of my life, without being dependent.   And yet, I wonder if perhaps He is telling me He has a change in my life coming.  Maybe . .   Again, if so, let’s hurry up and tell me the plan . . .  Oh, right, there’s that patience thing again.

Anyway, I do give thanks daily that my body was not hurt worse, that I had great care, and that I have a lot of loving and supportive people and prayers being offered. 

I do ask for more patience–I do not want to be an Israeli free from Egypt’s slavery and now grumbling about lack of food and water 

Lord, You know how very blessed I am–it has been profoundly impressed on me as I have healed during the past few weeks.  As always, You are in charge — and since I was not listening well, You did slow me down.  And thank You for all You have blessed for me and ‘my bellaviews’.