Proverbs 6:6 Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! Without having a chief, or officer, or ruler, she prepares her b read in summer and gathers food in harvest.
Proverbs 10:4-5 A slack hand causes poverty, but the hand of the diligent makes rich. He who gathers in summer is a prudent son, but he who sleeps in harvest is a son who brings shame.
Proverbs 12:11 Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread, but he who follows worthless pursuits lacks sense.
Proverbs 14:28 All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty
Proverbs 13:4 The soul of the lazy man desires, and has nothing; but the soul of the diligent shall be made rich.
Proverbs 19:15 Laziness casts one into a deep sleep, and an idle person will suffer hunger.
Ecclesiastes 9:10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might, for there is no work or thought or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol, to which you are going.
Ecclesiastes 10:18 Because of laziness, the building decays, and through idleness of hands, the house leaks.
Ephesians 4:28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.
Colossians 3:23-24 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord.
2 Thessalonians 3:10 If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.
I like to be busy, not crazy active so that I fear something that is important falls through the cracks or gets overlooked when I say, “I will do that next after this project.” It’s important for me to review all the things I completed at the end of the day. If I find something not completed on my mental review, I get a little nervous and anxious, especially if it is an important task that needed to be completed that day. Usually, if I find something not done, I can add it to the next day’s list, no harm, no foul.
I tend to write down the things I plan to do in a day. It helps with organizing my time, especially if I have a lot of outside errands. But I find I can be lazy and lackadaisical without a list. Tend to then to only have 2-3 things I would like to start or finish those days, so it is easy to keep pushing the time later to begin them. Exercise and using the rowing machine was supposed to start December 21 after my brother put it together. And I liked using a rowing machine years ago when I was going to the gym often. Today is January 18, and I still have not used it. Tomorrow is a busy day, but possibly Saturday it will get some use.
I don’t take the time or put in the energy to do time on the machine and burn some calories. Or is it lazy. A big part of me does believe it is laziness when it comes to exercising. Why? Not sure why. There’s a desire to get in better shape, to get the heart rate increased, to burn calories, to improve muscle tone, to feel as though I am doing something that is positive for my health and looks.
According to some of the research I did, both laziness and workaholic tendencies stem from the same cause—self-worship. In an article that appeared in crossway.org the article entitled “The Idolatry of Spiritual Laziness” December,21, 2011. Oftentimes, especially with workaholics, these people work so hard because of low self-esteem, low confidence, and the need to achieve status and success. When one thinks of lazy persons, we see self-indulgent, maybe self-worship. But the article said also self-esteem issues. . . Hmm, Okay, well maybe.
If one has low self-esteem it is harder to get out and continue to walk the streets looking for a job and feeling as though at SOME one of the doors you walk through you might be successful. It is harder and harder to walk through the doors presenting your resume and trying to get someone of authority to see you as a person who would benefit their company. Someone with very low self-esteem would have a difficult time the longer they looked for a position, and the more they might have been turned down for a position.
Both workaholic and lazy persons, especially unemployed can hurt their families. Workaholics believe they are benefiting their family, and themselves. They will be making more money, allowing more benefits and material things for themselves and their families. They can excuse the fact they are not WITH their family, they are supplying “stuff” for themselves and their families. Their children will have opportunities to play all the expensive sports—there is no longer neighborhood games of pickup, baseball, touch football, or basketball or whatever. Remember the good ol’ days of playing for fun instead of competition in all manners.
Certainly, more pressure on parents to supply the teams to play whatever sports, or dance classes, or gymnastics, or whatever skill wants to be promoted. Lots of money now goes to organized sports for these children which seems to me to add to the competition and pressures, and certainly on the parents to supply the costs of the children to play—and with numerous children, certainly the costs are multiplied.
My daughter and her husband spend a lot of time taking one child to this soccer practice/match, and one of the other two to another field or court and so on. Sometimes, between the three children, all three are playing on different fields within an hour of one another. Pressure for the funds, pressure to ensure all three get to the proper field/team, and pressure for the kids to play the best game, have the proper uniforms and with growing bodies, socks that are high enough, shoes that fit well, and all the other aspects of the uniforms. And when the game or practice is finished, then homework and the pressures of getting satisfying grades.
I didn’t feel those pressures playing on the neighborhood teams. I was not the best athlete, and for me it was just fun, not pressure, not stress, just a bunch of kids I cared about all playing and sharing a game and having fun.
I wonder about the pressure that workaholics have. Keep working, don’t share vacations with family, but supply them with the good time, minus the workaholic, him or herself. It seems to be there is a wider separation between folks now. The folks who are lazy feel less and less, and their feelings of low self-esteem seem to grow larger and larger, while the workaholics seem to work harder to gain more and more, to get the accolades of being a ‘great hard worker’ and to supplying for his family and others with all the pleasures they could want—even if they cannot share in the quality time with others.
Again, we have to look at the reason we have who we think are “justifiable” sins because we are doing the best for family, supplying extras for them, and so forth. While the lazy ones feel they are not the best to supply their family with even the regular needs, never mind the extras, and they center their thoughts on their selfish and low self-esteem and their stress increases feeling they are not good providers, they are not supplying enough for their family, and make it plain “there is not enough money. . .”
I have lazy moments at times, but thankfully I do work and take care of my responsibilities. And, since retirement, I do not have to be in competition. God does not want us to be lazy and not pulling our own weight in projects that need to be done. He has given us unique skills to be better at certain tasks and accomplishing goals.
Thank You, Lord, that You have equipped me with certain skills, and I am therefore able to finish the task that needs to be accomplished. You have supplied me with what I need and guided me and ‘mybellaviews.’
Genesis 1: 14 Beloved, times and seasons are in My hand. They have been firmly rooted and I marked them. . . I set them in order with the Word of My mouth. (unsure of which version was used for this article) And God said, “Let there be lights in the expanse of the heaves to separate the day from the night. And let them be for signs and for seasons, and for days and for years. (ESV)
Genesis 8:22 While the Earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, winter and summer, and day and night shall not cease.
Psalm 104:19 I appointed the moon for the seasons and the sun itself knows the exact time of its setting.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die: a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
Jeremiah 5:24 They do not say in their hearts, ‘Let us fear the Lord our God, who gives the rain in its season, and the autumn rain and the spring rain, and keeps for us the weeks appointed for the harvest
Daniel 2:21 God changes the times and the seasons; He removes kings and sets up kings. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding.
Acts 1:7 He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority.
Acts 14:17 Yet He did not leave himself without witness, for He did good by giving you rains from heaven and fruitful seasons, satisfying your hearts with food and gladness.
I never liked winter. It was dark so early, and stayed dark until later in the morning. The New England winters seemed to hug cloudy, foggy, gray mornings not wanting to have the sun peek through and lift the gloom. There were several activities I liked doing in the winter—skating, sledding, tobogganing, reading and so forth.
Those days had winter play clothes stuffed with stuffing making one a contestant for the Michelin Man or Pillsbury Doughboy Contests. Your knees couldn’t truly bend, your elbows certainly did not have a full range of motion, and certainly one could not play any game that required one to sneak up on another. The wisp, wisp, wisp of the nylon leggings ensured that. Falling off a flying saucer or a regular sled made climbing into an upright position to drag it back to the top of the hill a laughing experience.
So, I did have a lot of fun times. But the gloom gripped me. Always, I had an underlying anxiety during the winter. I worried my parents would be in a car accident, I was persistently checking my schoolwork—had I completed the assignment? Was the paper in my book bag? My mind whirred with “stuff.” I chose to go to bed earlier since it was so dark and the nights were longer, and I had an electric blanket on my bed. It seemed I needed more comfort all the time in the winter—my blanket, warm socks and slippers, and flannel pjs that were snug at the ankle because I had the pants creeping as high up as my knees. We had a couple chihuahuas and I worried about them being out in the cold, sometimes holding up one paw at a time to lessen the cold seeping into them. We also had a large mutt, and he preferred sleeping on the porch, but when it was below freezing we would encourage him in.
I must admit the first two snowstorms were pretty, watching the snowflakes tumble down in front of the streetlight, but it also meant we would be putting on those coats and snow pants that prohibited easy movement to go shovel again before our father came in from work at midnight. UGH!
But eventually, about February I could tell the days were getting a little brighter. The brightness brought hope and a lessening of the gloomy feeling that I struggled with in the dead of winter.
When we moved here, it was January, and noticeably brighter. Now I know it is because sunrise comes later to the northeast by 30-45 minutes depending on the month, and sunset is earlier. Compared to our area of NC, we have about 75-90 minutes more of daylight, and according to the calendars I have recorded over the last seven years, we have more days of sun—maybe not a full day, but at least a half day of sunshine often.
Physically and emotionally, I feel better here. It is generally warmer than New England, although not always, but I can start most days out with a brisk walk, maybe chilly, but generally the walk gets done. I start feeling hopeful right after Christmas—we are past the shortest day of the year, and checking my weather app, it shows we gain 1-2 minutes more of daylight, slightly earlier sunrise, slightly later sunset, and by the end of January, I know Spring will be presenting flowers, colors, buds on trees, and the birds will be singing and praising the day.
One of the other things I enjoy about winter in NC is seeing the Northern Lights Grass—a decorative grass that in the late Fall, early Winter waves and looks pink-lavender in color; and then shortly after Christmas, my camellia bushes blossom.
I know God designed winter for a time of rest for the land, for the plants that come from various bulbs, and for the farmers, giving them time to do house repairs, repair equipment needed to care for their livestock whether it be bridles, leads, repairing fencing or whatever. It gives fisherman some down time to repair nets, clean up boats, repaint, get barnacles off if needed, and so forth. God designed winter to we could rest, read around a fire during family time and look forward to the newness that comes with Spring. There are flowers, new birds, new life sprouting in vegetation and in animals—best time to see those new fawns on trembly legs with white spots.
The Fall here is not drastically pretty like the week or so in New England. The colors are not vibrant, except for the Bradford pear trees. They are lovely in the early Spring with their white blossoms, but in the Fall they are RED, and the color stays for a bit more than 1-2 weeks. It is a slow advance toward winter and less light, while for me in NE, it was by October I was anxious and feeling burdened.
I am so thankful that my winters are now in NC. Glancing at the weather app and checking the areas where family are and seeing the late sunrise and early sunset makes me feel badly for them and they all know if I am there in any part of December, I will be gone December 5, right after my granddaughter’s birthday!
Lord, You knew the best place to put us when You moved us here. There are four seasons here, but the winters are milder and still has more daylight shining. And You know I love the other three seasons; each of them give me pleasure.
Thank You that birds are starting to sing and flirt, and the days are shining more light longer, and the cycle starts again. You have shown me how to appreciate winter more over these past 25 years or so, and I am so grateful. Always You are there for me and ‘mybellaviews.’
Psalms 9:10 Those who trust in Your name trust in You, for You, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek You
Psalms 28:7 The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore; my heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.
Proverbs 3:5-6 my heart greatly rejoices; and with my song will I praise Him. Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths.
Proverbs 16:9 A man’s heart plans his ways, but the LORD directs his steps.
Matthew 6:31-33 Therefore, do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Romans 12:2 And do not be transformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of you mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God
2 Timothy 4:18 The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever.
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
Many of you may know I lost my Gmail account last week. It certainly caused some stuttering of my heart rate. “What? This must be wrong. Did I open something wrong?’ I closed out Gmail, re-opened and got the same results. I know the good Lord only gives you so many heartbeats in a lifetime, and although I have no idea how many I have, the rapid pace was eating at the final number. Okay, better reboot the computer. That should fix it. . . It very definitely did not.
I have an old computer I don’t use much anymore, but opened the Gmail program there, and no contacts. Yikes! Now what?! My anxiety was escalating, and I have no computer know-how, but I do have the comfort of the good Lord, and He has worked with me on getting anxious and frustrated. I am in His hands and He can fix/find/heal all.
I opened my yahoo account which has copies of most of the things I have from other places. YES! A copy of the WOW addresses. It was dated September. After the last two Heathers joined us, had anyone else come in that this copy did not have? I still would not be able to write the prayer requests from Gmail—would folks be leery of opening an email with the yahoo address? The women who have been with the group for a while would recognize it, but. . .
About that time, my neighbor texted suggesting we sit around her firepit for an hour or so. Sounded like a good idea. I said a prayer, asking God to fix and heal my computer since I needed to get the prayer requests out and had NO idea of how to restore my Gmail account.
I leashed my dog and walked across the street. I told her of the problem—she knows as much—or as little—as I do about computers, so had no suggestions. For the next hour or so we all sat outside enjoying the fire and the clear evening, chatting about whatever, I did not worry about the computer issue.
Back in the house, I picked up the laptop, again sent a prayer asking God for some guidance, and opened Gmail. Pressing “compose” to start a new email again showed NO contacts. I sat looking at the opening page of the email formation, and this time noticed a ‘Merge and Fix’ and something else about contacts. I pressed merge and fix, but that was to combine information that may have had two separate entries. Since there were no contacts, that did not help. I googled information via my phone, and some of the directions were not showing as they were written, but there seemed to be a little hope, I might be able to retrieve something—at least get a direction.
The bottom entry under the ‘Merge and Fix’ area said ‘Trash.’ Tentatively, I pressed that thinking everything on the computer would “poof” into cyber space—wherever that is. Instead, it opened an area that had my contacts. There was one heading that said ‘Deleted’ and they each had the date of Jan 18, 2024. “What? I didn’t do anything to delete contacts from my laptop.” No, no, I hadn’t removed from my laptop.
Then, my gracious Lord reminded me I had decided to get rid of a Samsung tablet since I had never been able to get the apps I wanted from google store that I had on my iphone. I had removed all personal data, reset to factory settings, and it probably said something like “This will remove all data from…” And I pressed okay as I wanted all data removed from the tablet. But it removed all Gmail data also from my laptop.
The next heading read ‘’delete” and the last one read “restore.” YES! Restore! I brought all the folks in I could remember, conscious I had to still write up the prayer requests and send them off.
Thankfully, I live alone as I was praising God and giggling all the while. I think He has a teasing personality and over the years has taught me not to be anxious and stressed. I am sure I would have been locked in a crazy home if someone had heard me, but God fixed my computer because I asked, prayed for it, and believed, well, mostly believed. There was a small part that thought I would have to do the best I could with the old computer.
I know this is not a huge issue to anyone but me, yet He was there for something that was a problem that I had no idea how to fix, I asked, and while with neighbors mostly let it go, and then came home and the steps were fairly easy to get the program resolved. I am quite sure He too was chuckling or at least smiling at my pleasure, as I was giggling like a loon and thanking Him.
Thank You, God. You have guided me to depend on You, to turn to You and You will handle things in the best manner possible. I need only ask, then let go and You will guide my steps. I am so different following Your lead over the past few years than I was thinking I was in charge. So again, I thank You and praise You for all You have done for me and ‘mybellaviews.’
Psalm 75:7 but it is God who executes judgment, putting down one and lifting up one another.
Proverbs 31:9 Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy.
Ecclesiastes 12:14 For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing whether good or evil.
Matthew 7:1-5 “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”
Luke 6:37-38 “Judge not, and you will not be judged, condemn not, and you will not be condemned: forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”
John 8:1-11 woman accused of adultery and presented to Jesus. (Where was her partner?)
Romans 2:1-3 Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly.
1 Corinthians 5:12-13 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge. God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”
James 2:13 For judgment is without mercy t one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.
James 4: 11-12 Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?
Do you have traits you do not like about yourself? I certainly do. And I don’t like it—and although working on it with the Holy Spirit, I still find it jumps out, almost without thought or reason. This is a trait I certainly hope others are not spewing regarding me—it’s ugly name and action is called judgment. ‘Oh, that outfit makes her look so fat; oh, that is such a ridiculous color; who would wear something like that? Oh, that will make so and so stand out.’ Or it can go, ‘that sounded like a snotty thing to say; oh does that one ever say anything positive or kind; or she talks so unkindly to her husband and her kids.’ But in total honesty I have NO idea, not even a guess what is happening in another’s life—and therefore have NO reason to judge anything about them. My taste is mine; and others have different tastes—thank goodness—and those tastes fit them.
God does not wanting us to judge others or even ourselves. The Pharisees and Sadducees felt entitled to judge others. They were from the ‘chosen’ tribe of Levi which had been designated by God to lead the people in religious sacrifices, atonement, and honoring God. But their heads swelled with this ‘power’ God had bestowed and instead of leading the people to love and lead obedient lives, they dictated rules and laws to follow that God had not mandated. They felt entitled to think themselves “better” than others, in a position where they could judge and find fault—even sin—of others, while harming the very ones they were supposed to lead and love in a religious manner.
They became arrogant, they were sure they were purer and more righteous than all others. Then they set out more demands for the people to follow and adhere to. Many people tried hard to obey the dietary rules and the many other rules God had told Moses to give them.
My judgments are not always critical; and it is certainly an area of my life I am working to change. I don’t like being judgmental about others, and since I am also often self-critical, I criticize my own thoughts and behaviors often, then of course traipse down the yellow brick road of envy and comparing. Then, I will hear God say, “Hello, young lady, did I not make you, you? Distinctly and uniquely you? Yes, I did. And I do not make mistakes, I am the only Judge, so stop your nonsense. I am sure you can find other things to think about and ponder.”
“Yes, Lord. I am sorry. Again, I have messed up and gone against Your will. I have so much to be grateful for, and nothing to complain or be judgmental about. Please help me be better. I don’t want to judge anyone negatively—let me only have positive thoughts in my head and comment only on those—whether to build someone up or to encourage and support. Thank You, for Your mercy and grace with my thoughts. And thank You for the Holy Spirit who corrects me quicker than in the past.”
Thankfully, I have positive judgmental remarks running through my mind also. I admire outgoing and friendly people who seem to always have a smile and love emanating from them. When I see something positive–well behaved child, a cute outfit, a man wearing a shirt that is a perfect color for him, someone accomplishing a good job or whatever, I try to always let them know. Frequently, I have heard someone tell another how touched they were to hear a testimony or something and are passing on that compliment, and will try to tell the one complimenting how nice it was they took the time and effort to pass their thoughts on.
We are not and should not be in the business of judging. Ever? Well, no, not ever. Sometimes, we recognize someone is not living as they should be and claim they want to be to be pleasing to God. They may be drinking too much, doing illegal drugs, committing adultery, gossiping and slandering another….and we all know the list. Then, we should take the person and quietly point out what we see and the fact that it is sinful and hurtful. We care about another’s sinning, and the hurt they may be a part of committing a sin that most likely is caused by their selfishness and desire for immediate gratification. That is what most sins are—ways to hurt and disrespect others to satisfy our want and desire. That is why God set out the 10 Commandments for us, with the first three all being about loving Him and others, not hurting or coveting something belonging to another.
Although others may feel they are entitled to judge—NO ONE is given that responsibility and privilege except our Savior. I am not supposed to judge; I don’t have that unbiased gauge. I judge myself, and although I try to correct it when I find myself having judgmental thoughts toward others, I still find myself judging others’ behaviors or actions. I have NO qualifications to be a judge.
There are an abundance of shows with judges and court rooms on TV lately. A thousand or so years ago when Judge Judy first came to TV, I found her mostly fair, but then as the show took off, her public persona took to sarcasm and cutting, insulting remarks, and not truly judging each case on its merits. It was for show and glitz. She sounded snippy, impatient and biased. I am glad she is not my Judge.
Our Judge is NOT judge Judy. Thank You, God. You are our Creator, our Guide, and our Judge. Lord, I praise you for always caring for me and guiding my paths, correcting me repeatedly when I have messed up, and being patient each time I repeat mistakes. God, my Judge, my Savior, thank You for correcting me when I misstep and helping me to walk on the right paths. Thank You for all you have done for my and ‘mybellaviews’
Proverbs 28:13 Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.
Romans 6:1-2 What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?
Romans 7:15-20 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.
Romans 12:1-2 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
1 Corinthians 3:16 -17 Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.
2 Corinthians 6:16 What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, “I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people…”
Galatians 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
Galatians 5:17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.
Ephesians 4:22-24 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
Colossians 3:5 Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.
We all have different habits. I used to smoke often—too much. I also liked to bake and frequently made brownies and cookies and then would hide some so there was more for me to eat. There are many unfortunate habits we can develop and need to take the time and mind set to change them. Only a small list of habits such as overeating, anxiety eating, smoking, getting into the habit of having a drink or two each night, swearing, gossiping, and such. (LOOK up other haibts)
When it comes to realizing a habit is wrong, one chooses to decide to change it or continue in the habit. We might make an argument with selfish thoughts and remarks to justify keeping the habit. I had several selfish, self-centered and “justifiable” reasons to continue smoking. This was an unhealthy, foul smelling, expensive habit which did not just affect me, but also could have damaged others close to me with the secondhand smoke. My first thought on rising each morning, was to grab the cigarettes on the way to the bathroom, hitting the start button on the coffee machine, and then lighting up and inhaling deeply on that first cigarette. But throughout the day there were many others I smoked. During the smoking years, these “gods” helped calm stressful moments, decreased anxiety, were helpful to chat and share times and it was a shared habit with many of my friends. Frequently, I was ‘unaware’ of how many cigarettes I had smoked, until I realized my pack was close to being empty. When those times happened, I could become nervous unless I had an unopened pack of cigarettes. If not, I would wonder how to go about getting to a store to purchase more.
I smoked for many years. When I finally made the decision to quit, I was scared. It had been a way of soothing anxiety, dealing with stress, being with friends and socializing. I was so attached to those “gods” that I had some fear of failing any attempt to quitting and not having a ‘safety net.’
I counted minutes, finally hours, and I didn’t count days until I had more than 236 hours of not smoking. I continued counting with hours and days, enjoying the high number of hours, and the fact I had over a week of success. It was still a struggle, and I developed several coping skills to decrease the desire for a cigarette. What I used most often was miming smoking again; I would hold my fingers together and pretend inhaling, then take the “smoke” deeper into my lungs, holding for a couple seconds, then slowly blowing it out.
It took almost six weeks to not have to mime smoking to decrease the desire. I am sure, although no one said this to me, that I must have been a stressed out and screeching witch going through this and those close to me probably wondered how long the crazies would last. Prayers were even more important going through the withdrawal process than the miming of smoking and deep breathing to get me through.
Once through the initial process, I thought I would NEVER crave another cigarette. And for the most part, that was what happened. I didn’t like the smell of smoke when stopping at a red light and would raise my window, but when stressed and then smelled a cigarette, would want to light up and smoke again. Those times were struggles to not give in and ask for a cigarette. It took work to fight the urge and that was humbling. I thought I had the habit under control, but with a bit of stress and the whiff of a burning cigarette, I was struggling mightily to fight the urge to ask anyone for a cigarette or at least a drag.
The strength, in part, came from realizing my successful hours for not smoking was almost 4400, and the days counted 183 days. Did I really want to fail after this many days of work and then success? Wouldn’t it be a bigger sense of failure if I took a cigarette now? It took a lot of pep talking and prayer but I walked away.
There was a jumble of emotions that night. I was humbled that I almost caved—easily and rapidly. My pride at the success was shaken because failure was all too real a possibility, yet I also felt proud as I did walk away. And lastly, I was home and away from the temptation—but I could still see the possibility of failure looming. It left me nervous, knowing I was susceptible to failure, and now the likelihood of it happening was so much more real. There was no pride left. Yes, I had succeeded in walking away from this temptation, but now I knew I was weak, and very possibly I could fail in the future.
Lord, thank You for setting me free from the addiction of smoking and the damage to my body. Thank You for always helping me and ‘mybellaviews.’
Good habits come from resisting temptation
Habits, if not resisted, soon become a necessity both of these are from Marquee Messages. Sentence Sermons for the Church Signs. Shirley Jones Garmon 1995, Thomas Nelson Publishing. Pathway Press, Cleveland, TN 37311
Hi, I'm Kathy. Welcome to my website!