Psalm 37:5-6 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He4 will make straight your paths.
Matthew 21:21,22 So Jesus answered and said to them, “Assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to this fig tree, but also if you say to this mountain, ‘Be removed and cast into the sea,’ it will be done. And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.”
Mark 11:24 Whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
John 14:14, 15 And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it.
Hebrews 11:1, 6 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. . . And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him.
James 1:6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.
Now isn’t that powerful? Initially, hearing these verses, I believed things would happen right away, my life would be changed, I would receive the desire of my heart. Presto! Alla-kazam! That did not always come about, and although many, in fact most, of what I’ve asked for over the years, has been given, not all has. And I realize, like any spoiled child, I’ve asked for things my Father may not have thought was good for me, or I was not ready to have it.
I’ve lost, misplaced many things that I cared about, or did not want to lose. There is only one that has not been returned. Some are found later, others have been found within several hours. In fact about a month ago, I lost the checks I was using. I had the register, but looking everywhere I could, I could not locate them. I got the next bunch of checks, disappointed that there would be a huge separation, but resigned I needed to pay bills that sometimes required a check to be written.
As I was writing one of the blogs, I opened one of my Bibles. (I normally keep three nearby, and check one or the other with a verse that is unclear to me, that I may have found in a devotional or elsewhere and want further clarification.) There sat the “lost” checks. I could do nothing except smile and thank Him for finding them and answering the questions of ‘what did I do with them, where did I lose them, how could I be so careless to lose them so totally within my own house…?’
But I asked, and He answered. Even though it took a while, I had to smile, and thank Him; God does have a sense of humor!
It is not always on my time frame that answers come, but I have come to learn that as selfish as I am, God answers my prayers and requests in His time. I don’t always understand His timing, but I have come to learn it is delivered when it is best for me, and after I have PATIENTLY waited. I have learned to develop (some) patience and the development of that is a fruit from the Spirit. Patience is a huge process for me–like hiking up Mt Washington–which I did a couple of centuries ago!
As we walk and trust Him further and further, we develop more of His fruits in our life. We resist our base impatience, selfishness, and need for immediate gratification which can get us into trouble. We may start off with the idea we will trust Him for our answers and deliverance of what we have asked–but then may snatch it impatiently back and take matters into our own impatient hands for “immediate gratification” because we have decided we have waited LONG ENOUGH!
The growth of patience comes only when we continually trust Him and wait. It seems to be a common human condition to feel entitled. We have worked hard toward a goal, have achieved ‘time in grade’ and are now ready to receive what we feel we deserve. And now is the time. We are done waiting. ‘After all, God, You have seen how hard I’ve worked, how I continue to study and improve my performance, I take on extra work, my work is so much better and more inclusive than ‘that guy’ and I have earned it. I don’t know why You haven’t delivered it to me, but I’m moving ahead on it.’ That doesn’t always work out so well. You may get that position, but another opportunity comes up a few weeks later which would much better suit you–the hours are better–no weekends, no holidays, no nights, and….you get the drift.
Several years ago, I was responsible for the care of two homes–loved both, but felt worn caring for both and enjoying neither. My patience was done, so I took matters into my own hands–did not turn to Him in trust and faith, and made my decision.
The house sold very fast, within 2 days, and suddenly I was awash with trepidation and fear, anxiety and I knew I had made a wrong decision, yet did not know how to get out of it, change it, and just tried to convince myself it would all be fine. But it didn’t feel fine–I hated what I had done, signing an agreement to sell just so I could be more settled with one and only that responsibility.
I had impatiently jumped to doing what I thought I wanted, and now had to pay the price–at a loss in several areas, for doing what I thought at the moment would make me happy. Things eventually worked out–although I am still disappointed in the decision I made several years ago. That will always be a regret, but God did turn my impetuous, free will CHOICE for the good. I live in a great neighborhood, have wonderful friends and attend a loving and strong church, and have some of the best God designs to see our every window. I will never make a decision again without consulting Him and waiting to hear from Him–patiently. In His time He will show me the right path and direction.
Patience Zingers:
Patience is waiting without worrying.
The wonderful thing about patience is that it goes a long way, and yet the more we use it, the more we have.
Do not ask for fulfillment in your life but for patience to accept frustration.
I am thankful that He changed my mistake into a learning opportunity and turned it into a good experience albeit with consequences. have learned to relinquish control and try to be patient. As Joyce Meyer is fond of saying, “I’m not where I want to be, but thank goodness, I am not where I used to be.” It is a process, a growing time toward Him and what He wants for us. My walk has been such a growth and development for ‘mybellaviews.’
GARDENS
Genesis 2:8 Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there He put the man He had formed.
Proverbs 28:19 Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies will have their fill of poverty
Song of Solomon 2: 11,12 For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth; the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.
Ecclesiastes 2:5 I made gardens and parks and planted all kinds of fruit trees in them.
Isaiah 61:11 For as the soil makes the sprout come up and a garden causes seeds to grow, so the Sovereign Lord will make righteousness and praise spring up before all nations.
Isaiah 65:21 They will build houses and dwell in them’; they will plant vineyards and eat their fruit.
Jeremiah 29:5 Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce
Ezekiel 34:26.27 I will make them and the places all around My hill a blessing; and I will cause showers to come down in the season; there shall be showers of blessing. Then the tress of the field shall yield their fruit, and the earth shall yield her increase.
Amos 9:14 and I will bring my people Israel back from exile. “They will rebuild the ruined cities and live in them. They will plant vineyards and drink their wine; they will make gardens and eat their fruit.
SEASONS
Genesis 8:22 As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.
Psalm 74:17 It was you who set all the boundaries of the earth; You made both summer and winter.
Psalms 104:19 He made the moon to mark the seasons, and the sun knows when to go down.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
Daniel 2:21 He changes times and seasons; He deposes kings and raises up others. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning.
Acts 14:17 Yet He has not left Himself without testimony: He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons: He provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy.
I love the spring, summer and fall, and actually don’t mind the winter too much living in North Carolina. But by far the warmth and progressively longer days of end of winter and early spring are my favorite times.
I did not enjoy gardening when I was young. Both my mother and grandmother would get out for a couple hours and weed and tend, while I thought it a hopeless task, that like laundry and dishes never seems to fully end. But the good Lord changed my mind in my early twenties. My initial plan when I first moved to this small home, was to just put in a dash of color with some flowers. The house was old, built in 1904, and was just ugh! It needed a little sprucing and money was limited and tightly budgeted, but I could spring for some flowers for a bit of color.
I dashed off and purchased a few plants–couldn’t now even tell you what I planted–I just wanted color and since I had NO idea of flowers, type of dirt that’s better for certain plants to thrive in, I was lucky to purchase some that did ok. And each morning leaving for work, I could smile at the happy little blossoms and their colorful thriving, and then smile again when they “greeted” me at the end of my workday.
I’ve ;earned a little more over the years. Preferences for shade versus full sun, which are perennials and which need to be planted and nurtured each year, I can identify a weed from an errant growing plant. Each season, I turn it over to God. I’m out there pulling weeds to keep the selfish things from thwarting the flowers growth and health, and that I’ll be rewarded by the pretty colors and blossoms. Then I watch the little lizards or chameleons spring about, admire the pretty butterflies and bees that feed, pollinate and keep the cycle going. How magical it seems! After years of thinking my mother and grandmother were doing another never-ending task, I find myself doing the same. I get such satisfaction from it. It’s rewarding, and the colorful blossms are happy and the bees and butterflies who come to visit make me smile; and in the Fall, we are on a direct path the Monarch butterflies use to fly back to the deep South, Mexico and such. The Monarchs love the lantana stops on their journey and it is an experience to see thousands flying and stopping along their way in different gardens nearby to suckle some nectar from one of my plants.
Yet God had a purpose for creating and using some animals and insects to benefit from the blossoms and plants. There is such an interdependence we all have. But how lovely it is to see the blooms, even in a field of wildflowers showing off their pretty colors while dancing in the breeze; certainly a gift from the Creator.
He’s blessed us with so much if we just pause and look; take a deep breath and smell the flowers, the damp earth, the ocean if you live near enough; the sounds of birds singing, bees buzzing, hummingbirds whizzing by. There is so very much that one has as a daily blessing.
I see so much more, appreciate so much more in the spring. I tend to make a mad dash from car to shelter in the winter, and spend more time avoiding the early dark evenings, the cold; and then I do a little happy dance on December 22–the shortest day of the year. And I watch and pay close attention to the increased minutes of longer days and enjoy the bit more of sunlight. I have more energy and lightness of heart.
Thankfully, I savor enough blessings throughout the three seasons of color, gardening and so forth that I pull out my memories for the more dismal days of winter.
Thank you, God for the blessings of each season and all You’ve given me and ‘mybellaviews!’
Exodus 4:10-17 Moses trying to prove to God he could not do the task.
Judges 6:36-40 Gideon said to God, “If you will save Israel by my hand as you have promised—look, I will place a wool fleece on the threshing floor. If there is dew only on the fleece and all the ground is dry, then I will know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you said.” And that is what happened. Gideon rose early the next day; he squeezed the fleece and wrung out the dew—a bowlful of water. Then Gideon say to God, “Do not be angry with me. Let me make just one more request. Allow me one more test with the fleece, but this time make the fleece dry and let the ground be covered with dew.” That night God did so. Only the fleece was dry, all the ground was covered with dew.
Psalm 25:4-5, 8-9 Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. . . Good and upright is the Lord; therefore, he instructs sinners in his ways. He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.
Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Romans 8:14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.
Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will.
Many who have read my blogs or known me well on a personal level know that my acceptance of God’s invitation was listening to a sermon about Judges 6:36-40 and jumped on the idea of knowing God’s will by asking Him ‘if’ and ‘then’ questions.
It seemed to me to make sense to determine God’s will for me by asking specific questions. I was raised going to church each week, but we were not taught there could be, and should be a relationship with God on a personal level. There was a mediator who ‘thought’ they had a closer relationship to God and relationship was not encouraged. In fact, I am not sure even these leaders of the church services had a relationship with God or just some education to make some decisions for the local church.
So I did not start my Christian walk with a relationship, per se, but as a child looking for the encouragement of which was the correct way to travel on the path. So I never asked what God wanted me to do. . . I gave Him options and asked Him to choose. O my goodness. Who was I? Who did I think I was? The only thing I can think He approved of was the fact I was seeking something from Him. But the arrogance and impertinence!
Anyway, I did not delve further into His word for quite awhile. My “fleece” mentality lasted for quite for a few years, but rather than limiting Him to two of MY choices for answers, I asked for answers to specific questions. The last time I tested God with this, He answered in a huge and impressive way. MY husband and I were in Germany, but his mother had congestive heart failure and got ill fairly often in the winter especially. She lived in FL, his brother was in MA—and having to wait about 36 hours until we could fly and get to her was TOO LONG for my impatient nature to wait. Although I loved Germany and truly was happy staying, I felt like we should look for an assignment back in the states.
But I had to “fleece” this. ‘God, IF You want us to return to the states, please give us a clear answer.’ And I would choose “if this one, then that, but if no, then this would be my sign (my fleece). No answer. Now, I had put some restrictions on where we would end up—east coast anywhere from Maryland to Florida.
He applied for several positions with the Army and was not picked up and finally, he broadened his search to all branches of the military. We got no takers for that also. I was beginning to wonder if God wanted us to stay in Germany and I possibly had to readjust my thinking and WAIT if she got ill again until I could get there.
Now obviously living with me for several years, he was accustomed to these fleeces of mine. But one night in the summer of 1999, I asked him to think up ‘an answer, an indicator’ to a fleece. He sighed and rolled his eyes, and after a few minutes said if we saw a shooting star it meant we would get orders. This had already coincided with the fact he had broadened his search to include all branches of the military. And of course, he knew I believed seeing falling stars one of God’s gifts to me—on a par with seeing dolphins, whales, and other fabulous things.
We went outside and were chatting away when ZOOM shot a falling start across the sky. In the course of an hour and twenty minutes, we saw 26 falling stars, and I laughed and said, “Okay, God, I got it! In Your time we are going, but now I just wait for Your time.”
We had a dog, so I took him out on the yard side of the house, and while standing there waiting for him, I got to see 3 more shooting stars. It was exciting reassurance!
It took about three weeks, and I never questioned it again, just waited because I knew His will, then, Paul’s applications got an interest. Cherry Point was looking for a controller to run the air base and five other east coast air bases.
I won’t say that was the last time I ever tried the ‘fleece’ but shortly after God firmly said, “Enough. This is not a game, certainly not a game of chance. You need to develop a relationship with ME.” He wants us to persist in seeking His guidance for our lives. But actively seeking, praying, trying to determine His will and path for us. We tend to be impatient and throw our hands up in frustration if we must wait for long seeking His direction. And we miss out. All things occur in God’s timing, not ours. As much as we may feel we are, we are NOT in charge.
Hmmm, how did that work? About that time, I was hearing different tv preachers on TV or on the radio, and it was dawning on me that there was a LOT more I could have. I began searching and reading the bible—new concept—and much of it was Greek (haha; not the original Greek writings, but it was difficult for me to understand). So, I hunted for a couple different versions with language easier for me to understand and bought both. I have compared versions lots of times over the years, preferring the wording of one over another, clarifying my understanding when something seems unclear.
Some I still didn’t understand, some I wondered why it was important for me to know—some I still wonder why all the gold, silver, bronze, and other materials which the different tribes donated was important; and why did each have the exact wording except the name of which tribe? Now, I read it more patiently—I still do not know why it is important, but I read it and trust that eventually I will understand why those of His words are important to me. But I have gained more knowledge and understanding of Deuteronomy, Numbers and Leviticus over the years.
But since I learned about relationship versus ‘should go to church every Sunday; should do this at the church’ instead of laws and expectations of my childhood church, it is so freeing to feel that I can intercede on my behalf because of what Christ willingly did on the cross. I can go to Him, not an intercessory to confess and peel off my feelings—hurt, anguish, anger, frustration, fear and whatever.
God wants the relationship, the seeking of His will in your life, not the silly games I was playing. He wants deeper, the heart, the truth of who you are, what you desire and seek—wanting you to seek Him FIRST, then other dreams, goals, or clarifications. He wants us to acknowledge His Son as Savior and then accept the Holy Spirit into our hearts and live as the Holy Spirit guides. They, the trinity
It’s amazing to me the amount of peace and ease I have now. That is not to say each day is smooth, but I get far less frustrated and overwhelmed than before. I KNOW God’s got whatever it is, and I no longer need worry about it. When the time is right, I will have my direction because God has proven faithful to my fears, worries, and I no longer waste time having those issues. Living life feels so much easier. I spend time being thankful when I’m walking around and listening to birds singing their thanks each morning, enjoying blue skies, the sounds of the ocean, wondering how those big pelicans (pterodactyls) can fly and glide over the ocean or houses looking as though their bellies will be skinning (not Skimming) their bellies. What an amazing world He has created, just breathed into existence.
Now, I am just grateful for what He has blessed me with—family, friends, good health, beautiful settings I have enjoyed. Thank You, God, for Your persistence in making me realize it is relationship, not game playing and testing. I am so thankful for Your active involvement with me and ‘mybellaviews.’
Genesis 2:15 The LORD God then took the man and settled him in the garden of Eden, to cultivate and care for it.
Deuteronomy 16:15 “Seven days you shall celebrate a feast to the LORD your God in the place which the LORD chooses, because the LORD your God will bless you in all your produce.
Psalm 104:14 You cause the grass to grow for the livestock and pants for man to cultivate, that he may bring forth food from the earth.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven; a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to harvest what is planted.
Isaiah 4:2 In that day the Branch of the Lord will be beautiful and glorious, and the fruit of the earth will be the pride and the adornment of the survivors of Israel.
Isaiah 58:11 The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.
Isaiah 61:11 For as the soil makes the sprout come up and a garden causes seeds to grow, so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise spring up before all nations.
1 Corinthians 3:6-8 I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants not the one who waters is anything; but only God, who makes things grow. the one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their labor.
Matthew 13:24-43 Parable of Jesus about a man sowing good seed, and bad men came along to ruin his crop and spread tares. But when the grain sprouted and produced, also came the tares. the good man decided to let the tares grow with the wheat and at harvest time, separate, burn the tares and harvest the wheat.
As a child both my mother and my maternal grandmother, who also lived with us, enjoyed gardening. They would spend a couple hours a week in the Spring and Summer months in one of the three gardens. One garden was full of portulaca, one of my favorites–a low growing, self-seeding plant that requires little water, enjoys the sun and heat, and has multiple colorful blossoms of yellow, white, red, coral and pink. That particular garden seemed to attract very few weeds, so they did not have to weed that one often, and I did enjoy looking at those flowers.
The other two were quite large with some bushes and many various plants. I loved the peony bush and the two rose bushes, but it always seemed to me to be such a waste. They would weed and groom and then in a few days one of them would be out there again. It was like laundry or dishes; one would clean them up and within a couple of hours there were more to be done. Clothes were placed in the hamper each night; dishes were required for each meal, so they too did not remain clean and “finished” for long. I thought the same of gardening. They looked great for a couple days and then needed to be weeded and tended again. It seemed at this point that it was much like the Lamentations written by Solomon. “All seems useless…”
When I was in college, I decided to drop out and get married. It turned out to be a rough time and a costly decision in many ways, and yet, God also ensured I was blessed with a wonderful son. But before they would sign off on my leaving the college program (nursing) I had to take a couple of tests. Since this was to prove to me with psychological testing that I would make a wonderful nurse, I purposely lied for several of the questions, but the results showed my #1 option was nursing; #2 was librarian/writer; and #3 was religion/convent; and #4 was gardening/landscaping. It was difficult for me to understand how questions about which I would prefer doing on a weekend vacation — walking in the mountain? walking the beach? hiking in Europe? So, how did that show anyone I would be a good nurse, or enjoyed writing, and certainly then I had NO interest in gardening? How do those kinds of innocuous questions determine to someone what one has as certain strengths?
But, like all selfish and “all-knowing” teenagers I left nursing school and started my “adventure.” Within a short time I knew I had made a big mistake, but then found I was pregnant. Certainly, things would change for the positive then; but they didn’t.
Once I had a child, for our safety, I had to leave, and it then took a little while before I was mentally strong enough to handle things without familial support. But finally, I was ready to handle things as an adult, raising a wonderful son. I rented a small house with a small yard. The yard needed a bit of sprucing up, some color, some flowers, and it just made the property look more cared for, more loved. After a little effort and a couple of hours of time, I looked around with satisfaction, surprise and yes, some pride. I still didn’t know what I was doing other than digging holes and plunking some colorful plants in a hole, but it did look pretty. Then, I began to care about them. It was a bit of sadness for me to see one of them not doing well, not thriving or growing well. What was wrong? Did I do something wrong? Is there are bug problem, does the soil not have something? Do I just need fertilizer?
I had very little idea of what I was doing. In a short time, I realized I needed to have more dirt then gravelly sand, most of the stones and rocks should be removed, and mulch served a purpose. Initially, I planted things with color; reds, yellows and pinks stood out to me. I had no idea what plants would do well or poorly in my area; what plants would come back every year? Wouldn’t that make life easier to just have things sprout right back the following year? Then I would not have to be on my knees every year digging, shaking plants from a plastic pot and tucking them into a hole, patting dirt around them, and hoping for the best. I knew I didn’t like gardening while living at home with parents, siblings and grandmother, that was several years’ worth of KNOWING I didn’t like gardening.
I began to add gardening soil and potting mix to the gravelly sand and improved that. I discovered that fine chopped mulch is better at adding nutrients and dissolving into the soil. And then, I didn’t like the weeds in competition with the flowers and their beauty, so I learned to pull them, save the flowers and my gardening knowledge grew a bit.
And so my appreciation grew. As much as I thought it a waste of time to watch my grandmother or mother be out gardening, weeding, I was doing the same. I liked the cleaned bed, most weeds removed, the different colors of the flowers. Other than digging a hole, plunking a colorful plant in and then weeding when necessary, most often depending on God to send the rain, I did little. It was a blessing to me to look around and appreciate the bounty He provided.
I had to seek my grandmother and mother’s advice. They asked about bugs. I didn’t see any bugs, then learned they might be tiny, tiny white or black dots on the leaves or stems, not necessarily a creepy, crawling bug or spider I can see moving about. Then I learned about little snails, the benefit of worms, how compost has some beneficial nutrients that plants like.
Well, as you can see my arrogance about having NO idea why someone would waste time gardening, weeding, grooming, and so forth turned into a past time I truly enjoyed. And still do. I am not very knowledgeable, but can usually recognize a weed and pull it; I still plant by colors, and I have a lot of bulbs tucked throughout that I look forward to seeing bloom each Spring, look forward to getting out in February and start putzing in the flowers and yard, wondering if I have to go to Lowes and purchase more.
Anyway, bottom line is God created me to enjoy gardening (even though I had no thought to gardening until I was in my 20’s) as well as nursing, reading, writing, and studying the Bible. He predestined me to enjoy those things and to be good at them. He, the creator of all, determined me to have these abilities, to enjoy doing these activities.
The bible talks about God pruning us, getting rid of some of the stuff that is stunting or stilting our growth. Pruning gets rid of damaged, dead, or diseased area of a plant, bush, tree, and the plant can then concentrate its efforts into growth and health. Weeding takes out part of the problems that want to overrun your plants, steal the good soil and suffocate your plant. A little bit of care, and God’s bounty shows off to all who appreciate what He has created.
Lord, I thank You for guiding my steps and opening up new areas I thought adamantly were NOT for me, and giving me another gift to rest in Your beauty and care. You know me so much better than I know me, and You have steadily walked with me and ‘mybellaviews.’
Deuteronomy 31:8 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Psalm 34:18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Psalm 40:1-3 I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me, and heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understsanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths
Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Joshua 1:9 Have I not comanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you a hope and a future.”
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
“Hopelessness causes us to lose perspective. It stops us from looking ahead to a positive future and it paralyses us in our present state of anxiety and worry. It steals our future and it holds us back from stepping into all that God has for us. And when it comes to our faith, it can cause us to believe that we are unable to receive the hope that God has promised us.” Tom James, theological writer and researcher based in London. Glorify-app.com October 24, 2022
A few years ago I was living in a swamp of quicksand. My life was spent hanging on to a branch, and I could see the swamp had slight light during the day as the tree cover was dense, and was totally dark in the night. Initially, I was scared of what I could not see—possible night time crawly things, snakes, mosquitos and the diseases they can bring. There was nothing that was distinguishable to me; yes, dark green, lush leaves, and brown thick treetrunks. But, thankfully, after a few days, I realized there didn’t seem to be any critters, scary or beautiful—no birds twittering and singing, there were no mosquitos buzzing and biting, no snakes, no anything that visibly moved or seemed to live there.
I had no idea how I had come to be there. The branch I held kept me out of the quicksand to just below my breasts. If I moved and struggled, I went deeper, and the thin branch bent. I knew enough to know that the thin bough was young and could not bear my weight struggling without either snapping off or bowing me further and deeper into the muck.
Trying to peer through the thick copse of leaves during the day brough little light, and I had no sense of where the sun rose and which direction it set. I considered letting go of the branch several times. Why was I holding on in the middle of a quicksand patch, in the middle of a marshy, smelly swamp. What was the point? But something kept me holding tight.
My arms never tired, althoug my shoulders did occasionally, I could rotate them a little, find almost immediate relief, and continue to hold on. There seemed to be little hope of escape from that swamp. It amazed me that my arms never fully tired, they never felt like pins and needles, they stayed strong and other than slightly rotating my shoulders, nothing ever felt aching. I couldn’t understand how my neck didn’t scream in discomfort as I slept with my chin on my chest. Funny, as I’m writing this, I don’t remember ever needing the toilet in the several months I was there.
Although I asked God repeatedly what was going on; Why, God, why? He was silent almost the entire time. OK, what am I supposed to learn? I don’t even have my bible here, how can I read and grow jsut hanging here? Are You so disgusted with me, I am to stay in this Lodebar forever? What’s the point? How can I learn if You are not talking to me? Thank You there are no mosquitoes or other nasty biting things, no snakes, no bats, or any of the other creepy things I don’t like. But I miss my birds—well, Your birds, but my gift, thank You for them. Even though they are not here—can’t see or hear them, I have that as one of my wonderful memories. I had several verses I repeated–
Eventually, the branch seemed a little thicker, and I, who had a difficult time getting to the top of the rope climb in gym class, inched my way closer to the tree truck. The branch held, no bending, no cracking, and soon I was at the tree trunk, able to straddle it and move sideways and stand on solid ground. Whew! But now what?
I had no direction to go toward. What was beyond here? I already knew I was safe, well, kind of safe with no human contact, no animals, and I had not been hungry or needed to eat this entire time, so maybe I should explore my immediate area, get to the limits of what I could see, before willy-nilly starting out with no plan and no direction. Since I was unsure how I had found my way into the swamp, that seemed wise to explore first before venturing beyond what I knew.
It was entirely possible my impulsiveness had gotten me lost and put me in this quicksand and swampland.
Since I’d only been able to see what was ahed of me—a big tree trunk with a thin branch, and further away, many, many tree trunks and thick, abundant leaves, and had no idea what was behind me, I wonderred if I should check out behind me. But behind was the quicksand, and I didn’t know how wide that was. I did stand beside the large tree and look, but other than the grayish tan of the quicksand, and an abundance of trees with thick leaves, it all looked the same. If I walked forward, I could keep the large (saving) tree within my sight and make it back after my exploring. Maybe if I could get to the edge of the woods, I’d be able to tell direction, or see something more bright.
I did eventually feel Him lift me out. I didn’t get any answers to my why questions; my what was I supposed to learn, or if this was my feeling lost and alone, and since I had made a rash decision to sell my home and move fulltime to the beach, that now I was dealing with a bit of depression. Most of my social group was in the town I’d lived and sold the house. So, I made the trek in to that town at least four days a week—I even continued all my volunteering activities such as church accounting team and depositing the funds, working at one of the community theaters selling tickets, and occasionally working one of the shows and selling tickets for walk-in theater goers; or working at the police department setting up children programs for the summer and being in meetings with the SRO officers.
I’m still not sure. Not sure, but relieved I am not there any longer, and thankful for that. I still do not understand it or what I was supposed to learn, and if I was in a period of being in a wilderness, and developing strengths that God wanted me to learn, or if I was in a bit of depression.
Lord, You know where I was even though I still do not, and thankfully, I am back to enjoying Your creation of birds flittingh and flying and singing and chirping, enjoying the many moods of the ocean, enjoying the flowers and bushes and great weather, and the great family and friends You have blessed me with. So, although I still am not clear about those several months, I am very glad You have been with me and ‘mybellaviews.’
Hi, I'm Kathy. Welcome to my website!