Hi All,

I am unsure how long my blog was not being received so I may be sending out some repeats that some of you have seen, and yet others did not.  I am not technically savvy so it took a while for my web gal to be able to nurse it back to health.  

I apologize if some of the blogs you see in the next few weeks are repeats.  I’ve re-read and think they still have a message so am re-scheduling them.  I did have to put some folks back in the mailing list, so if you think of someone who might like to read this, or know of someone I missed, please let me know.  And I welcome comments!

Thanks for letting me know when you were not getting the blogs so I could have someone repair ‘mybellaviews.’

 

 

Joshua 1:9     Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Psalm 55:22     Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.

Jeremiah 17:7-8     But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.  They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.  It does not fear when the heat comes; its leaves are always green.  It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.

Luke 12:25     Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?

John 14:27      Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Philippians 4:6   Do not be anxious about , but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

 

Before I had a relationship with God, I thought I was in charge, and burdened myself with thoughts on responsibility, duty, keeping all the balls in the air as though they were uncooked eggs.  Nothing could fall to the ground, everything had to be handled.  And of course, I worried about “what if…”  And the spins my mind could whirl and twirl around were horrific.  Sleeping was intermittent, as negative dreams would spur me into wakefulness, and the worries would trip over themselves like a running stream. 

And of course, NOW I know that not one of those worries helped me.  IN fact, I think they were detrimental to me and to my family.  I’m sure I was cross, preoccupied with anxiety, fear, and really….”what if…?”   

Yes, that devil Satan was alive and well in my mind, consistently showing me my flaws, my failings, my mistakes, and my LACK.

I certainly didn’t totally know God.  I knew Him in a nebulous, cloudy way;  I certainly did not have a relationship, did not expect answers to questions, and am fairly sure my prayers beside my bed each night were recited as rote.  They were not heartfelt, they were dutiful…although I really believed that “Now I lay me down to sleep…” was wrapping me in His protection.

I tried to control outcomes all the time; I certainly had to keep the eggs in the air.  Smashed raw eggs are such a slimy mess to clean! 

But then I learned more about Jesus, and in all honesty it took a long while for me to grow in a relationship.  I had trust issues, worth issues, control issues, and was frequently frustrated seeking an answer and WAITING.   Did He answer and I missed it?  Is this not important enough for Him to guide me?  Am I being foolish with this so He is not going to help?  Am I not good enough and He really does not care about me?  Maybe I am one of those that He just cannot endure.  He is SO busy taking care of everyone in the world, and I am so bad…He must just be disappointed in me all the time.  And on and on and round and round my worries circled.

Gradually, I learned more, grew in the knowledge He is not dismissive and one to hold a grudge, or not forgive.  But it was a slow process for me to develop the trust needed to believe Him, believe that He is Truth and Light.  And how could I give up control for this being I couldn’t see, and trust that He truly cared about me and my life and choices.  So I tried to stubbornly cling to the things I did know, and of course the process stalled with me pulling all my doubts and “what if…” over and over.   How can anyone have so many of those?  They are catastrophic scenarios, and they drain the energy away.  I felt that I was being drained and stressed, but I did not see another way then.

But then I realized how many wonderful things I have—eyesight to enjoy beautiful birds, flowers, the many blues of a sky, the varied colors of the ocean, the mountains, the autumn colors especially up north, the smile of pleasure and surprise on a face of someone important to me.  But wait, that’s not all… I can hear those pretty birds, they also sing and praise God daily, the ocean has a quiet splashing to a mighty, strong and vicious roar, there’s a babbling brook, the sound of leaves falling to the ground and then the swish as you walk through them, and with that pleasure and surprised look on a precious face, there is an exclamation of joy, pleasure, and maybe thankfulness.

Satan loves to lie, to fill us with fear, anxiety, and worry.  His goal is to fill us with upset, unease, and negative thoughts.  “He comes to steal, kill, and destroy…”   John 10:10.  Steal your joy, kill you from eternal life, and destroy your peace and harmony and prosperity.   The goal is our death—no eternal life, no forgiveness, no peace, no freedom and no confidence that one day you will see Jesus face to face!

How could I spend time worrying about catastrophic scenarios that MIGHT happen, when I have so much to be thankful for, to enjoy, and realize the abundance of gifts I have been granted.  I know that no one is worthy and we are each forgiven and given eternal life by grace, by a GIFT, if we accept Jesus as our Savior. 

Satan was certainly alive and well and chatting away to me reminding me how terrible I am, how unworthy, and on and on.  And because his voice was familiar, it was easy to agree with him.  It took a long time to convince myself he was lying—it had to be a repetitive mantra until it finally sank in, and I was able to face his lies and tell him to move on out of my life.  And it happened often, because he would try to weasel his way back into my mind.

Such a waste of time I spent worrying about things that could happen, and feeling how unforgiveable I am, and being anxious because of it all.  Certainly, I am so relieved and thankful I finally believe He loves me, He has taken my place, and I am awarded eternal life and He has prepared a special place for me.  John 14:2,3.

How different and smoother, easier and more pleasurable life feels now.  Worry is not something I have dealt with in a long time.  I have confidence that nothing can mess me so badly that God will not be there to help me deal with it.  It is so freeing to not worry, to not feel burdened, and there seems to be even more things in my life to be thankful for.  I am blessed and freed and saved!

Lord, I am so thankful that You saved me from all the torment I spun and helped me realize that your love is true and sure.  Thank You for all you have done and given to my and ‘mybellaviews.’

Jeremiah 1:5     Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as a prophet to the nations.

Jeremiah 29:11-13     “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to yu.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Job 33:4     The Spirit of God has made me, and the brath of the Almighty gives me life.

Isaiah 64:8     Yet you, LORD are our Father.  We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.

Ephesians 2:10     For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

 

Many folks, including myself, wonder what we are doing here?  You must have a purpose for me, Lord  What can I do?  How can I serve?  What specifically, did You design me to be, to do?  Your word says, “I have a plan for you.  A plan to prosper and not to hurt.”  It’s straight out of Jeremiah.  I have requoted it to You often; but have not heard back.  Have I not heard back because I have something blocking Your voice?  Is there a hidden sin, a continuous sin, I am not spending ANY hime listening to You when I pray?  What?  Please what?  

So long before we were created, God had a plan for us.  He picked us out, designed us for His purpose and watched as we navigated through life, with our free choices He gave us, and made our mistakes.  He knowcked at our door, He placed people in our lives to plant seeds of His care and love, He made all sorts of things happen so we could see, He is the only safe and sensible choice to make.  But that is not always the case.  Many choose not see Him as omnicient, Creator, ever present,  Creator, Deliverer, and Infinite.  Because He is an incomprehensible entity, we cannot imagine that kind of love and forgivenenss.   How scary to not believe based on your limited misunderstandings.  That grieves my heart.

But God has a plan for each of us.  He designed us for His plan while living our lives.  And that delivers the best of both worlds—His plan and design and our own wants, needs, and dreams. 

It’s amazing how different my views and thoughts are since I learned God loves me and sent His Son to accept all my sins and rottenness to die in my place.  He did WHAT?  FOR ME?  But, no, that can’t be.  No one would die for me, how absurd to think someone would suffer in MY place!

So even though I felt the jump and awe of being chosen, I did not fully believe.  Maybe this was like a carnival roller coaster and feeling that thrill; or perhaps that giddiness and excitement associated with falling in love.  But, is this for real?

I enjoyed a euphoric feeling for a couple of days and wanted to learn more.  But where to begin?  I began reading the bible on my own; that was not so successful.  I found much of the Old Testament to read as blah, blah, blah.  I truly needed some guidance and was not attending a church that offered any education or help.  I began following a female tv evangelist who began successfully teaching me things and connecting some dots I didn’t even realize I needed to connect. 

This was the start of an awesome journey for me.  From this teacher, I found another church which offered biblical teaching via the messages as well as bible studies and small bible study groups.  I initially was a green burp on a rose stem, then opened enough to see some color at the edges.  Hmm, cream, pink, pale yellow or what?   But slowly, the bud unfurled, more color was shown, and the bud fully opened to reveal a beautiful blossom.  And because I was attached to a bush, suddenly there were more buds and blossoms in varying degrees of openness, and the bush was thriving.

I believe everyone who finds the Lord, and realizes that Jesus agreed to sacrifice His life on a cross for YOU, for ME, for ALL.

I needed to read and learn more.  The more I read, the more I learned, sometimes questioned, and in all honesty, as I wrote various questions down that I did not fully understand, I often got answers in a sermon, in a small group, and in other ways—once it was in a dream, and looking up two verses, my question was answered.   WOW!

One needs to read, attend a biblically based teaching church, a group of folks who are in varying stages of bible learning—new christians, older, more read christians, and those who have had many of their answers open their mind. . . but we NEED the teaching, the experience and testimony of others, the learning each and every time we open His living words.  God wants to teach us, He wants us to know Him better, He wants a RELATIONSHIP, a sharing.

 I have many verses I can quote, not always so I can state verse location, but in this day and age, that is easy to find  by typing in the verse in my phone, it will spew out the results…some of my favorites are Phil 4:6, Romans 12:12, Psalm 27:14. . . the ones I love are pertinent to my needs.

I feel we should all have verses we pull when we need.  Those are some of my favorites, but again, I usually have to type in the verse to find the location, or pull out my 6 page list that I’ve typed my faves on.  My knowledge continues to grow with reading each year.  I follow a plan to read the bible in a year’s time, and use several different methods—chronological, reading OT, Psalm, Proverbs, and NT.   Reading chronologically has made my history understanding more prevalent.  But I find each time, I discover more and deeper words to further my relationship. 

So, I want to thank You, Father, for choosing me, for pre-ordaining me to be one of your chosen and  Your loving words.  Certainly, they have thankfully, changed my life and that of ‘mybellaviews.’

 

Judges 7:2-7, 22     The Lord said to Gideon, “You have too many men.  I cannot deliver Midian into their hands, or Israel would boast against me, ‘My own strength has saved me.’  Now announce to the army, ‘Any one who trembles with fear may turn back and leave Mount Gilead.’”  So twenty- two thousand men left, while ten thousand remained

But the Lord said to Gideon, “There are still too many men.  Take them down to the water, and I will thin them out for you there.  If I say, ‘This one shall go with you,’ he shall go; but if I say, ‘This one shall not go with you,’ he shall not go.”  So Gideon took the men down to the water.  There the Lord told him, “Separate those who lap the water with their tongues as a dog laps from those who kneel down to drink.”  Three hundred of them drank from cupped hands, lapping like dogs.  All the rest got down on their knees to drink.

The Lord said to Gideon, “ With the three hundred men that lapped I will save you and give the Midianites into your hands.   Let all the others go home.”  . . .

When the three hundred trumpets sounded, the Lord caused the men throughout the camp to turn on each other with their swords.  The army fled to Beth Shittah toward Zererah. . .   (and the battle was won as the Lord said.)

Isaiah 41:10     Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalm 55:22     Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.

2 King 19:14-16, 32, 35,36     Hezekiah received the letter from the messengers and read it.  Then he went up to the temple of the Lord and spread it out before the Lord: “Lord, the God of Israel, enthroned between the cherubim, you alone are God over all the kingdoms of the earth.  You have made heaven and earth.  Give ear, Lord, and hear; open your eyes, Lord, and see; listen to the words Sennacherib has sent to ridicule the living God.   . . . (After Isaiah also prayed and heard from God)  “Therefore this is what the Lord says concerning the king of Assyria: ‘He will not enter this city or shoot an arrow here.  He will not come before it with shield or build a seige ramp against it.’” . . .  That night the angel of the Lord went out and put to death a hundred and eighty-five thousand in the Assyrian camp.  When the people got up the next morning—there were all the dead bodies!   Sennacherib king of Assyria broke camp and withdrew.  He returned to Nineveh and stayed there.

2 Chronicles 32:20-21     King Hezekiah and the prophet Isaiah, son of Amoz cried out in prayer to heaven about this.  And the Lord sent an angel, who annihilated all the fighting men and the commanders and officers.

 

I wonder how often we think we are in charge of any of the problems we are facing?  Whether it be financial, personal, health, we somehow think first, of how WE can handle it, how the doctors are going to give us a treatment, how we are suddenly going to receive a windfall for something  unexpected. 

I used to worry, wonder, and fret over how I was going to handle this, that, or the other….and although it was my concern, worry, or problem…it was not my fight to fight.  It was my duty to turn my issue over to the God, who can handle anything smoothly, easily and according to His plan.  Sometimes, that plan involved directing my path  to a path or course I had to follow; sometimes those unexpected funds come as a rebate from something, and sometimes, when you are despairing of this impossible relationship, you meet someone new; the RIGHT someone new.

God has a plan for each one of us.  We need to turn over our problems and concerns and trust Him with it, and not try to “fix” it using our limited power.

Over the years, I have been amazed at the number and the different ways God has dealt with my issues.  And,to paraphrase, thank God!   I was a bumbling nut oftentimes when it came to trying to handle some of my messes.   But I had to fix whatever was wrong, didn’t I?  Afterall, I was in charge, I had to govern my life and that of my son, right?  I was the responsible adult.   But so often, I was flummoxed and unsure, and STRESSED.  It was not just me who would be affected by my mistakes.

And after years, yes years, I began to kind of relinguish things to God.  Yes, kind of, because I tried to hold on to just a little; afterall, I was the adult, I was supposed to be in charge.  I gave most to Him. . . but found I still clutched a piece just in case…  Then suddenly, things ironed out smoothly—with NO iron, and NO ironing board.  I was NOT in charge.  I had been handling life wrong.  I had chosen Him as my Savior, but I did not believe He would daily save me, that He truly cared about the daily decisions and concerns.  Yes, I knew He was in charge, but, really, in charge of ME?  He cared that much for me and my worries? 

So obviously, although I claimed He was my Savior, and I believed and knew I was going to heaven; obviously, I did not fully trust He would be there always.  I did not truly trust.  That fact hurt my heart—deeply.  All sorts of difficulties arose and were front and center with me not believing.  IF I believed, I would trust like Gideon—and face a bunch of enemy with only 300 men; I would trust my whole entire kingdom would be saved like Hezekiah when he chose God—and God stepped forth and wiped out the entire Assyrian army who lay dead outside the Judean gates.   Hmmm, maybe I should truly put my trust in Him. 

Could I let go?  Could I release my stress, my fear, my control, my compulsive monitoring of bills, extra payments, and on and on?  Could I release all to my unseen Savior?   Yes, I knew He made the different birds, made the sky, the sun, the moon, the many different animals—those I knew, and those I learned about from Marlin Perkins and Jacques Cousteau—but letting go meant He was in charge of making sure the mortgage was paid on time—and with what?  There was no other monies coming in?  I would love to say I jumped in, both feet, up to my waist—and He saved me.   But that is not what I did.  I clutched edges of my life—just in case. 

But to my surprise, pleasure and change in control and opinion, He came through.  We did not starve, bills were paid even when my payments became a surprise with huge car repair bills, unexpected medical or vet bills, or…other aspects of life.   He came through; He answered the problem and took care of us. 

He never failed me.  He never failed to show up and take care of my life and needs.  Oh, my gracious, what a difference in my life!   Suddenly, I had less stress, and truly began to trust—in God, and not in me and my powers—I have no powers.  I can read and cipher, add and subtract, and make decisions in different portions of my life—but in the areas I cannot control, God can fix.  Why did it take so long for me realize this truth?

I think we have been disappointed through different circumstances with life—parents disappoint, teachers, and others do not always come through planned or expected, and a sense of mistrust develops and grows—persons can disappoint and let us down, and not intend to hurt us, but we all live life to our best ability.  And sometimes, we cause unintentional hurt.  Things happen, disappointments occur, and God has not promised us all happiness and good happenings.  Life is fraught with some disappointment, some learning, and times when we need to seek Him. 

He will direct our paths, guide our paths, and fight our battles.  It does mean to relinguish our own control, and give—or try to give—Him full control.  He is in charge.  Each and every day of our lives are already predestined in His book.  He wants us to seek His way in our life, learn His control, learn to DEPEND on Him.  He is waiting to show us He is dependable and there as our comfort, our security, our God.  We tend to forget.  For some reason, most of us humans believe we are born with control, and our outcomes depend on us—good or bad.  How sad…until we realize He is in control. 

And then like the Alka-Seltzer jingle, ‘plop.plop. fizz, fizz, oh what a relief He is!’  It is awesome and reduces stress so much to realize He has a handle on whatever worry we have.  And once you totally turn it over, you also realize each step is under His guidance.  Perhaps with a windfall (LOL, Haha), but with a quiet whisper, a hint of direction, a sudden idea…..but that’s Him! 

I love that I now don’t fret.  I know He is in charge, and He loves and cares for me—and what a waste of energy for me to worry when He already has the issue handled.  Such a wonderful change of life for me.

Follow my God.  He has the answers—to questions you did not even realize you had! 

Thank You, my God.  You finally got through and helped me realize You have always blessed me and made things clear to me and ‘mybellaviews.’

 

 

Psalm 34:10     Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing

Proverbs 6:16, 19    These six things the Lord hates, yes, seven are an abomination to Him. . . A false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord (discontent) among brethren.

Proverbs 14:30     A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.

Proverbs 19:23     The fear of the Lord leads to life; then one rests content, untouched by trouble.

Philippians 4:11, 13     Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content. . .  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

1 Timothy 6:6-12     But godliness with contentment is great gain.  For we brought nothing into the world and we can take nothing out of it.  But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.

 

I think of tents and think of camping—hard ground and always there are many rocks, roots and sticks that seem to grow beneath my sleeping bag; and bugs, and dampness.  I do enjoy a travel trailer—bed support, a small, but inside bath, and screens.  I can camp and travel like this anytime. 

But this title/headline was found in a book I have which quotes different church signs over the years.  Shirley Jones Garmon did a wonderful job gathering and compiling these in a book entitled Marquee Messages: Sentence Sermons for the Church Sign, published by Pathway Press in 2000.

So this title of the world living in tents points to the two points on the continuum. . . content or discontent.            

Where do you normally fall on that continuum?   It’s a choice you/we make daily; therefore it is within our control how we will feel and act.

Years ago, I was always frazzled.  I was a single mother, going to school full time and working full time.  Thankfully, I had a wonderful family who were there to watch my son as I did all the activities needed to get us a job that could support us, and that I loved.   I was anxious about school, about the development of my son, and the fact that I was home usually when he was going to bed at night.  Would he even know me?  Would this stressful time of commitment to other areas ever end and I could have more time for him?  For me?   Could I ever get a job and make more than minimum wage?  Thankfully, my parents owned the house we lived in, and could wait for me to be able to pay rent and/or buy the house.  But. . .  I did not feel successful during that time.  It was definitely a time of discontent and anxiety.

As life continued, changes came about as always happens in life, and we were able to fall into a better committed pattern.  I had more time to have with my son, attend soccer games, read in the evenings, check his school work, and I grew more content.

Certainly, the more bible study I undertake—not always an official class, but my own exploring, including writing these blogs, gives me more contentment.  I now have three grown, hard working children, all successful in their fields, and valuing their own children.  I have many good friends, and I realize this is a huge blessing as many feel they have a few good friends, but not that many they can call on at any time.  Although I just lost one of my best ones, I still am blessed with an abundance of folks I can rely on for prayer, to step forward an offer assistance if I was ill or unable to get groceries or whatever. 

So, I am in a time of wonderful contentedness.  And, although not everything is always smooth, I have learned to hand so much off to Him and His will.  When feelings of stress and nerves might start simmering, the  Holy Spirit reminds me I don’t have to fuss.  With a sigh of relief, I think of the issue and offer my hands up as though instead of giving the anxiety, I am offering a gift. . . but it is taken, and I no longer have to fret or worry. 

Certainly, there are still goals I would love to have, achievements still working toward, but I am content.  That is a blessing and I try to pass on the thought of handing things over, and being more trusting.  Anxiety, fear, stress, overwork,  allowing yourself to be pulled into many different directions all leads to discontent.  One can never get back lost time, and time is one of the vital gifts you have for your family and friends.  Lost opportunity (ies) can never be retrieved, and can lead to permanent, significant and painful losses.  Your family may totally drift away believing you don’t care. . . they can see what you strive to be doing and it does not feel to them that it is very much a part of them.   God has a lot of say about family, teaching them, spending time with them, showing them how to do things, and He reminds us to rest, have one full day of rest with family, and that is worth far more than monies.  Do the vital, important things, not the ones that cause you so much stress, anxiety, and discontent. 

Spend time with family, praise their achievements, be an example of a loving partaker of what is the most important in this life.  Don’t believe the lies and pressure of having to work more, harder, and longer to get. . . Realize the aspects of this life that are truly the most  important and spend time enjoying those.  Enjoy letting go of that stress in a big sigh, and feel the first fluttering of being content.

Thank You, Lord, that with Your assistance we traveled through those times, my son benefited from having wonderful grandparent times, and aunt and uncle times, and all the while he got to see the benefit of hard work, achievement, and then rest and relaxation.  That is a wonderful life lesson.  Thank You, God for directing my feet then, and since, and letting me feel the satisfaction being content has brought to me and ‘mybellaviews.’

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