Deuteronomy 5:29 Oh, that they had such a heart in them that they would fear Me and always keep all My commandments, that it might be well with them and with their children forever!
Jeremiah 29:13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
James 4:8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
God does not want us to be far away from Him. That is our choice. Our choice because we are convinced we know what is best for us, individually, and then later for others. We share our opinion/judgment with others, and because we are all unique, this sometimes creates a lot of dissension, maybe even hurt.
I am the oldest sibling, and have always felt I should be in charge. So I have bossed my opinion to my siblings. They do not have the same viewpoints I do all the time, so we sometimes bash heads, or ideas. Over time, I have come to realize that my opinions or choices are not necessarily theirs, nor should they be. We are unique, with different opinions, different values, different lifestyles, and yet, we appreciate one another.
For years, I lived believing I was in charge. I lived thinking I was in charge of my destiny, mistakes and good things, and I was therefore responsible for my son’s life, safety, destiny and his final outcomes. And, the negative part of this thinking was that I put tremendous pressure on myself believing I was responsible for the faults or failings of others. My stubbornness believed I was responsible for all outcomes, good and bad, made by me, my child, or siblings, sometimes, even the nurses I worked with.
I had accepted Christ’s invitation when I was 18, after hearing about Gideon’s summons from God to lead the Israelites into battle. Because Gideon doubted and could not picture himself as a leader, certainly not as God’s chosen, he sent up fleeces to determine if he was truly hearing God’s will for him. And thus, I learned about fleeces.
Initially, this was how I lived my life. I asked God questions that sounded like, “ok, God, if this….then that.” And then I waited for the answer according to my definition. I lived like that for a long while. But then after the ‘honeymoon’ period, I just settled in. I was not attending bible studies then, had no support system, so other than the women I worked with who were a few decades older than me, I had no companions.
Our marriage was not good. It certainly was not like the marriage my parents had which was loving and playful and obvious to others how close they were. My parents’ marriage had never been as strained and scary as mine. I knew things were very wrong, but had no idea how to fix it, or if it could be fixed.
Suddenly, I was a mother, and had more than myself to care about and worry over. After several months of tension and strain, I moved back to my parents, yet the fear remained. But I still lived via the results of fleeces whenever indecision or uncertainty made its presence known.
I was frightened, 21, the mother of a 6 month old, and had moved back with my parents, and now there were four generations living in the house. My sense of being in control was faulty and I had made so many mistakes which were affecting so many others. Although I believed in God, I certainly did not believe He was all powerful, all present, and always out for my best and the best for my son. He was not then the ALL that He is in my mind now…I had so much to learn.
But God, through my fleeces, initially, led me to move out. Oh, my parents had a lot of hesitation. I was living in my grandmother’s home since she was in a nursing home, but that placed me 30 miles closer to my ex. That created a lot of anxiety and apprehension for myself and my parents.
Fear was a fairly constant companion, and I feared all sorts of things. Was I a good mother? I’m going to school and working fulltime, how am I doing the best for my son? Will I ever have enough money to move us forward? Should I be doing both at the same time? He’s left with babysitters often; will he even know who I am?
But I had very good family and friends in my corner. A very good friend also started attending bible teaching church and recognized Jesus as her savior. She began leading me a bit further on my journey. Understand, I still had no real relationship with Jesus; I still relied on what came about with the fleeces, yet only sought when I was really stuck. I was not consistent with prayer or KNOWING Him, just sought reassurance I was making the right decision for a particular moment.
But finally this friend, said, “You need to move on. This is baby stuff– cheating using fleeces for everything.” At the same time, I had heard a sermon on tv urging to develop a relationship with Jesus, do my own digging in the bible, so I had to do more, delve deeper than relying on whether the fleece would be wet or dry. I also read that one cannot keep testing God. Aw-oh, certainly that is what a fleece is!
I agreed, but dreaded what would happen without my fleeces, my comfortable baby blanket. They had made me secure for a number of years. How would I know what God was saying without them?
But, I began to see more of how others saw me. I could be bossy—certainly to my son and my siblings. And I also was able to recognize that my ways, and what might be right for me and my life, were not necessarily right for them. I had begun to have my eyes opened and God was showing me that I am NOT in charge, and that my ways are not necessarily correct. And certainly my ways are not correct for others.
One of the absolute wonders of God is that He made us each unique; even twins, who have so much alike and similarities to one another, have their own thoughts, ideas, feelings, and ways of handling situations.
God wants us to walk according to His direction in our life, to know we belong to Him, to honor Him, to recognize and acknowledge He is in charge. We are not in charge. And, to me, life has become less stressful with Him at my side. I am no longer responsible thinking I am alone and “it’s” all on my shoulders alone. Now, I know it is not that way. His Word promises He is always with me and will help me. I believe it—I may not always feel that He is with me, but I know He is, because He has promised that.
It has helped me realize I am not responsible for others and their choices, and I can only make the best decisions for me with the knowledge I have and asking for His input so I don’t make mistakes. What a load that removes!
Thank You, God for Your presence, and for opening my eyes to realize I have no control over others, and I need just rely on You being with me and mybellaviews.
Jeremiah1:16 I will utter My judgments against them concerning all their wickedness, because they have forsaken Me.
Jeremiah 18:7,8 “The instant I speak concerning a nation and concerning a kingdom, to pluck up, to pull down and to destroy it, if that nation against whom I have spoken turns from its evil I will relent of the disaster that I thought to bring upon it. (Highlights are mine)
Jeremiah 26:3 ‘Perhaps everyone will listen and turn from his evil way, that I may relent concerning the calamity which I purpose to bring on them because of the evil of their doings.’
Jeremiah had some tough times living as one of God’s prophets. He was urged repeatedly to deliver God’s messages, most went unheard, rather were ignored and scoffed. Other “prophets” or self-proclaimed men who said God had called them, refuted and told the people that good times were coming. Yet, But these messages were wrong, and were not sent by God. People choose to hear and believe good news, and avoid news that is unpleasant and against their base desires.
Time and again, Jeremiah went out and repeated what God told him to say. He dealt with many hardships, rebuke, mocking, and still he followed God’s word. And yet, as now, who do many people believe? Many believe they have time to change their ways….later. Many scoff at the idea of God’s judgment and deny there is a heaven or hell. Still others point out their dismay and anger that a loving God would send judgment down on entire nations and peoples and cause so much dissension. So they set their minds to argue while not taking the time to do any research on their own. My question is ‘but what if I am right and you are wrong? Wrong on a whim, a fit of pique so you refuse to seek?’ God’s word promises, often, if you diligently seek Him, you will find.
Jeremiah was imprisoned and shoved down into a well and left to rot and still he followed God’s commands to bring God’s message to the people. God’s repeated message was “You people have forgotten Me, you no longer follow Me, seek Me; and I will cause you to be captured and imprisoned in another country. Repent and turn to Me, or it will be so.” And finally, He had them imprisoned and enslaved in Babylon.
I truly believe God has been calling us, not just the USA, but the world to return to Him. Europe has also evolved after World War II financially and expansively. Yet many in Europe are living without holding onto any beliefs in God. There are some who are worshiping idols like money, clothing, big homes and so forth. Our base nature is for fulfillment of selfish desires, things, idols — money, alcohol, drugs, and so forth. We poison our minds and continue to turn from God.
I lived in Germany in 1989 when “the wall” came down. I had heard about the wall since I was a child. I remember my parents being saddened that it was still ever present and difficult for travel from east to west throughout the ‘60’s to 80’s. My parents’ early marriage was spent in Germany, and they had a landlord and lady they adored. The woman was crushed they had to leave before my birth a couple months later; but that woman had a mother and a sister on the west that she could not see, and shared her sadness and loss with my mother often.
I well remember during the 1960’s when suddenly we were not saying the Lord’s prayer in class each morning. Then some ‘people’ attacked The Ten Commandments from being posted in the schools. We said prayers every evening before bed as a family, we said grace at each evening meal, and we went to church every Sunday. I remember feeling a little scared we were omitting prayers from school and public. Somehow, before I had a relationship with God, I knew that prayer and honoring Him was important and we were making a mistake by thrusting it aside.
And although I know God’s got a plan, I’ve read His book, I believe fervently that He has been calling us to repent repeatedly over the past several years. And many are outright ignoring His call.
My God is in charge of my life, and He leads and guides me and smiles on me every time I thank Him for the hummingbirds, seeing dolphins, enjoying my flowers, being thankful for the blue skies of Carolina, and all the other abundant, ABUNDANT blessings I have each day. I have good health, fair eyesight, hearing, and can take care of myself and others, have good family and friends and have the RIGHT to pray. If I am ever ordered like Daniel to pray only to a king, it will be to the Holy King, not some passing human who has a place of power for a moment. (Daniel 3:4-17). Those men knew God has the power!
Yet, many persons in our country have opted to be ‘politically correct’ have agreed to push God out from our institutions, schools, hospitals and so forth. Europe, too, has become wealthy and independent, and many have pushed God aside there also. In His word is clear in “But whoever denies Me before men, him I will deny before My Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 10:33) How we must grieve Him, even though He knows our choices and decisions before we act on them. My mind is simple and that only of a human, but I can NOT see how He has been tolerant and loving and full of mercy toward “hard-hearted, and stiff necked peoples.” (For my sake, I am very thankful He is so forgiving and loving, but I would have thrown it all to destruction!)
Repent! Return! Let God love and guide you; comfort you; give you rest; lead you to Living Waters. He’s waiting for you. Listen to the message of Jeremiah and the other prophets and those who know God our savior now. It’s a choice. Make the correct one.
I am so thankful that I know Him and me and mybellaviews are sticking with Him.
Deuteronomy 14:2 For you are a people holy to the Lord your God, and the Lord has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth.
Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”
John 15:16 “You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you.
Ephesians 1:4, 5 Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will.
For years, I have been thankful that I chose to follow God. I raised my hand, walked forward in front of the congregation—and for those of you who know me, you realize that is not a comfortable activity. But, yes, I wanted to choose Him.
And in some ways, I thought, ‘wow, great, now I’m saved, and all’s good.’ My childhood background was in church but not a bible teaching church and it was more anxiety, nervousness and ideas of punishment.
But once I chose Him, it took years to find a right fit, bible teaching church. I so enjoyed learning how the bible actually related to me; not just some characters and the stories of their lives. That, too, took a while for me to realize that these “stories” were meant for each of us. Yes, they actually happened to Moses, Abraham, Joshua, Jeremiah, Isaiah, and Peter, Paul, John, and all the others.
When I actually realized I should be studying God’s words for myself I then began reading, and not always understanding everything, but I persisted. I listened to various TV evangelists and began attending bible studies, and volunteered at the church office and was on the team to pass the collection plate, was on the count team, and other such office duties.
I still believed I had made the choice; it was me who had chosen Him. Well, since I’m still studying, it has finally penetrated my eyes and then made it into my brain that He chose me. ME!
God chose me long before my parents had their first date. Long before their parents had their first dates…..He chose me! That tidbit made a huge difference in my life. I have always been grateful He is in my life, a part of me and my decisions, and I have made a lot changes, for the better, but I thought this was my choice.
It has only been my choice to deepen the relationship, to learn more, to realize we can each have a personal relationship with Him, and to grow in the knowledge of His word, His direction, and His love for me.
He has chosen each of us, and waits for us to choose Him back. It saddens me when people don’t choose. There are so many excuses that people say, and it’s obvious they are excuses, lack of knowledge, how can there be a God who allows…….whatever, and what about all the killing He ordered the Israelites to do? I’ve heard bunches, some of which I don’t know the answers to, but I know He chose the Israelites, He chose Abraham, He chose Noah, Gideon, and David, Esther, Mary and so many others.
I have more answers now, certainly not all the answers, but I have more. It is easy to now to encourage people to not judge without reading some facts. The bible can be a little overwhelming at first. Many know many of the stories—Moses bringing the commandments down, Noah and the Ark, Daniel being put in the lion’s den and many others. But they don’t know of the relationship He had and wants. Many feel it is just a bunch of rules; these folks think they are in charge of their own destiny, as long as they are “good” people they will be going to heaven. Heads shake as they bemoan “all” they would have to give up, and the idea of an unseen, unknown entity making their decisions, and all they would have to change, they refuse. But they haven’t even tried to do research to see what God wants. Most do not even believe He is real, never mind alive, and wants a relationship with us.
I pray for the many in my life who are not believers. I hope that they choose to at least investigate—honestly. So as I continue to grow in my relationship with Him, and pray for those I love who are not believers, I give thanks several times a day that He chose me and ‘mybellaviews.’
Romans 8:6 those who walk in the Spirit seek spirit, those who walk in flesh…..
Psalms 139:13-16 For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.
Isaiah 64:8 But now, O Lord, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You a=our potter; and all we are the work of Your hand.
Ephesians 2:10 For we are His workmanships, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.
God knew you long before your parents even became a couple. And He had a plan for you. And He loved you even then. Kind of an amazing thought, isn’t it? We have no real conception of knowing something before we came into an age when we could have a memory. Oh we looked for touch, food, change of diapers, but it was all wrapped up in the selfish package of ‘ME, all about ME!’ It is a growth to learn how to be less selfish and self-centered. Afterall, all critters are created with some sense of self-preservation and wanting to maintain life.
And yet, God knew us. We were not just another bunch of clay on an assembly line, and with a careless toss of His hand a blob of clay went down and that was us. We were individually fashioned and made with specific DNA traits, strengths, gifts, and placed in specific families. Some were good and loving and wonderful; others had less than ideal situations. But always God is there and has a plan for YOU. We each have separate trials and hardships and they are to make us to be better, have us reach first and foremost to Him, become stronger followers of Him. Then as we grow, we can help teach others. It’s His love and desire to give us better and more and then hopefully we realize the better and more we get from life is Him.
Yes, you have to reach out and ask for His help. You have to want to learn about, and of, Him, and seek to know Him more deeply. Sometimes, folks fear they will have to give up too much. I did too at one time, but the benefits, the love, and the mercy and healing are so worth it to me. I don’t want to walk this world alone. I depend on knowing He walks with me, loves me and cares about me, my decisions and my future. Did I have to give up anything? No, not really. I chose to quit smoking—yes. a sin against this temple I have to walk around in while in this earth; and I try to eat better, move more, and treat myself kinder than I did when I was younger, but I don’t feel I’ve given something up, lost something, sacrificed. There is a comfort in walking this path.
That certainly does not mean life is without problems or trials. I try to sigh and say, “OK, I know You’ve got this, but You know what I was hoping to do…” My job is to pray and trust and hand it to Him. I am not in control. I can do all that He leads and guides me to, but the control, the end answer does not come from me. Unexpected bills, illnesses, accidents, maybe a troubled marriage, or issues with a child, or any number of things are problems that we face. We each have our burdens and troubles in this life. But as they come up now, I am more willing to say a prayer, hand it over–at least mentally into the God bag–and trust that the answers are going to come and I am going to be strong enough to get through the issue.
We have prayers and dreams, and yes, frequently answers have taken longer than I would like, but they have come. And not always with the outcome I would like, but still a positive and satisfying answer.
I still have dreams that have not been answered, and that’s okay. He has plans for me to follow Him and as yet, I do not know the specific path, or perhaps I’m on it. But, no matter what else comes, my dreams and prayers are handed to Him. My life feels easier trusting that He has my best interests in mind. So I am grateful for the prayers and dreams and that God has them all for me and ‘mybellaviews.’
John 1:46 “Nazareth!? Can anything good come from there?”
Psalm 19:14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.
Matthew 5:22 “But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. {Raca seems to mean empty headed, foolish}
John 7:24 “Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.”
Are you most of the time obedient? I am not and it frustrates me to no end. My mouth and my thoughts are such a frequent disappoint to me. I know He knows I am trying to be Christ-like and obedient, and my thoughts are very unruly and seem to escape into my full mind before I can lasso them. And then I am sorry and remorseful and feel a bit helpless. I know the Holy Spirit must be doing something to steer me from impatience and self -frustration and denigrating words to myself, yet in they pop…and yes, relevant to whatever I am fighting with, but that is NOT the way God wants us talking to ourselves. He wants us to be kind. Yes, to others, but also to OURSELVES. It hurts Him that we scold and say hurtful things to ourselves. ‘Why can you NOT keep up with your keys, your glasses? Why do you have to waste time by forgetting all the things you need for your errands and have to run up and down the stairs several times? Why can you not be all together and organized? Why can you not put things in the same place after each use?”
Keys in pocket of purse; glasses back in case or on head; put papers back in correct folders—these are simple and easy enough to do, and then save you so much time, frustration, and aggravation! But one act then results in frustration which creates the irritation that then has me spewing disgusting words at myself. I am a negative self judge. I beat my own back, mind and will.
God does not want us thinking and judging ourselves and others in a negative manner. Nor does He want us thinking or judging in a superior manner, as we often tend to do with actors, athletes, or politicians. We tend to overstate or think they’re worth a lot. We do not judge in the manner thatGod does. He looks at the hearts of each and then judges, and that makes me feel worse when I catch myself scolding and being angrily muttering my frustrations to myself. I am negatively judging, and then harshly condemning. There is little kindness in the manner I handle my mistakes and then scold myself. Definitely not as Jesus forgave and told others to repent and move on.
I can be much kinder and gentler to others. I do not judge as harshly, and am quick to catch my thoughts when they stray to judging another. There have been times I have judged because of the tattoos spread over another. It bothers me to see a lot of tats on a female, and I wonder why anyone would choose to do that. I shake my head but at least I no longer wonder if the person is a biker, a violent bully, or maybe a drug user. And I apologize to any who have tattoos. 
I know this is my own crazy judgment, and has nothing to do with the inner person. I have three children, many friends and acquaintances with tattoos and most of them I love. The negative aspects come from seeing the tats not as artwork, although I admit many are lovely and there is a talent in many of the designs. I am not sure if this judgment comes from childhood, perhaps hearing my parents’ judge persons with tattoos, or whatever. I don’t know. But for some reason, I don’t like them, although simple and small ones are ok. But, I also love the way God designed us and we did not come in with tattoos, so why change what He perfected?
But my point is, I have no business judging another for any reasons. But certainly, most persons I see with tattoos I don’t know. So obviously I should have no judgment. But again, I find judgmental thoughts sneaking in.
And they sneak with a vengeance into my mind about myself. It is one of my constant prayers that this judgmental mentality will be loosened. It is so quick and therefore frustrating. It’s there before I’ve thought to think, to guard.
Anyway, it is one of my areas of sinfulness that I continue to work on. And confess. And to trust that the Holy Spirit is eventually going to lasso this and we can move onto the next area of sinfulness He wants to hone.
God, thank You for Your patience and generosity for me and ‘mybellaviews.”
Hi, I'm Kathy. Welcome to my website!