I am Not in Charge

Jeremiah 29:11-13   “…For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and bring you back from captivity…

Proverbs 1:28-31   “Then they will call to me but I will not answer; they will look for me but will not find me, since they hated knowledge and did not choose to fear the Lord.

Psalm 146:4   When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing.


For some reason humans have a very difficult time relinquishing control. We believe we are in charge, can change outcomes, and things will, or should, go our way. But that is not the case in the real world. Things happen. Sometimes an accident changes the course of an athlete’s life, and perhaps the same accident that caused the athlete to have to rethink his/her plans, has snatched the life of a young mother or father and changed the dynamics of a family.

Sometimes, violence has come unexpectedly. (After all, we may have a smidgeon of fear that some harm MIGHT come to us…but we don’t honestly believe it will—not to US.)  But it does.

Perhaps we have been unjustly accused of something, maybe lost a job, or the ability to finish an important test, and have to face consequences.  Perhaps we have made a major decision and it turned out to be the wrong one. We were in charge so made a silly and costly mistake and the result was disastrous.  We continued to try and “fix” it ourselves… of making our own decisions and choices, (because we are in charge), rather than seeking God’s guidance.  And things seemed to get progressively snarled and matted. 

There are many, many things which are out of our control, and can hurt, and change our course in life. We are not always in charge.  Often we cannot change the unexpected, and therefore the outcome.  Once this happens, we need to reassess, reevaluate, and perhaps reprogram.   But things certainly become smoother when seeking God’s direction. 

We are not in charge. Events happen, illness occur, and our “plans” are disrupted.  It’s important to remember that our Creator is in charge. We may not like these things which interrupt us being in charge, but there is a reason for them.  He’s in charge. His Word promises ‘He has a good plan for us.’ And although that is not always clearly visible, and sometimes feels like perhaps your life has ended, or in your mind, should end, you will see His plans as your life marches on.

One of the hardest areas I had to relinquish was being in control.  I was a single mother, going to school full time as well as working in a busy ICU full time, paying bills, had a sick parent, so helped when able with his care, had an angry and sneaking ex-spouse who threatened our child, caring for home and lawn, and on and on.  I felt I was forever on a tightrope, and trust me, my balance is not that great sometimes on solid ground, never mind trying to pretend to be a Wallender.

I couldn’t let a ball drop. I mean, truly, what would happen if one of my balls dropped?  I lived in a state of nervous tension always.  It was fearful living like this. I certainly borrowed “troubles from tomorrow, although troubles from today are enough to deal with.” (paraphrase from Matthew 6:34).

But my mind did not believe I was not in charge. My responsibility to care for child, my responsibility to get school, get work done, get to job on time and do all nursing chores for each patient, changing the care as needed for each person all had to be done. By me.  I was the one who had all these things to deal with each day. My responsibility. I was the one who was in charge of these different chores and tasks. 

And of course, now get dinner, make sure laundry done, and you get the picture. My list for each day held many items, and if I did not attain completion of all, I scolded myself, and allowed Satan in to remind me I was a failure in oh so many areas. I only believed I was in charge.

I did not totally relinquish control for a long while.  But each time, I turned to God and said, “what am I to do?” the answer would appear shortly. He would say/show me a direction,and after a few moments of surprise and enlightenment, I’d say “wow, You’re right, God.  thank You!” 

As I listened to Bible teachers, and studied on my own, especially after hearing a pertinent message, then reviewing the scripture they may have used, I was beginning to get it!  ‘Oh, You are in charge. I am not just a clay person; You placed me  here for a purpose a reason, part of Your plan.  I am not to run about like a crazy person. Ah, You have a purpose for me, and I am to seek You and Your desire for me, and I am NOT IN CHARGE.’  I think I got it this time.

HE was in charge; HE was offering me rest and help in all areas.

Oh, stress eased, no reason to worry about tomorrow, things happen, but You’ve got this.  I have You to lean on.

Thank You sincerely for taking charge of “mybellaviews.”