Crown Royal
Psalm 55:22 Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.
Proverbs 3:5-8 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; inn all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.
Matthew 6:34 therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 10:31 So do not be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
James 1:6 but when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
1 Peter 5:7 Cast your cares upon him, for he cares for you.
Years ago, I fretted about everything—anything. I was in charge, a single parent, responsible for all the bills, the physical, mental, and emotional health of my son, and I had to do it right. I was working full-time and going to school full time and very dependent on parents and friends to watch my son when I was away. It was stressful. And yes, I worried. I used to wonder if I could get the biggest prize for worrying and fretting.
It was a stressful, gnawing time. I could picture the goal, but not see it, not really see any light at the end of my worry tunnel. I hated having to ask for help, although in all honesty help was offered by my parents, my siblings if they were free and by my friends. I was blessed.
But at the time I was anxious about being a good parent, a good daughter as I frequently had to ask them to watch my son, and sometimes it was for an overnight if I was working an off shift or had to do a school project late. I didn’t want to abuse relationships and take advantage of the goodness offered to me. It felt like a vicious cycle at times.
And of course, then I was worried about money—’making the mortgage, and please don’t let the car have ANY issues. Please don’t let either of us be sick; oh, stop growing so fast, clothes are expensive, food is going up; the house needs oil and that’s expensive….’
And on and on my thoughts skipped and fluttered through my mind.
Then, somewhere along my path, I heard about taking all your worries, writing them down, and putting them in a bag, a literal bag, and leaving them there. That bag was to be for God to open, and He would handle what was inside. Could I do this? The control freak and worry wort that I am/was—could I possibly hand over, truly, hand over my worries and ‘let go, and let God’?
By snatching things back and worrying about them, I was blatantly saying, “I don’t trust You.” The reality is, “I fear it may be an answer and a situation I don’t want to face.” But He is in charge. He will help us get through whatever comes our way. But I think He feels slapped in the face to have one of His staunch supporters be worried and worried. I get it as I did that for years, but it was not demonstrating and living as though I trust Him.
Since my nature is to control and make sure all things are running like a fine-tuned machine, this whole God bag process was difficult. ‘What if God didn’t want to handle this? What if He was late? What if….’ Then, it was like I was hit with a bucket of ice water in the face. I suddenly realized if I was questioning this, I was NOT handing my issues over, I was NOT being honest that I trusted Him to come through for me, and I was trying to maintain control—even though I already knew I was not doing a very good job, and was feeling tired, anxious, fretful, and overwhelmed. So, so much for me listening and believing the verse, “my yoke is easy, my burden is light.” Matthew 11:30
I was trying to maintain control. AGAIN. And that must mean that I did not believe God could handle it, that He might not care enough to handle it for me/us, that I thought I could do a better job, or that I just didn’t have faith. AW-OH, NOW THAT SCARED ME TO DEATH. NO FAITH? Then no eternity with Him.
I’ll confess it took some doing. Satan would deliver those worries to my mind, at first, frequently. But I would recognize the worry after a few minutes, and then say, “No, this is not my worry. I gave it to God, and I am not snatching it back. He’s got this.”
But over time, it was less and less often that the worry would come back, and it became easier and easier to tell Satan to flee and take those anxious thoughts with him, as I had already given it to God, and it was being handled. I believe Satan got very tired of trying to wear me down on that area and moved on to other vulnerabilities.
Initially, I called the bag on the back of my bedroom door, ‘my God bag.’ It was visual, accessible, and I would write out concerns, worries, fears, whatever, and put them in the bag—a cheap little cloth bag that had held a pair of socks one Christmas. Someone had a small Crown Royal bottle, and it came with a navy felt bag with a gold cord to pull the top tight. I thought that would be perfect as my God bag! I asked for the bag and got it, and now felt like my thoughts were going directly to the Royal Crown of my life.
I still have a bag on the bedroom door, but it’s rare I have to actually write and put anything in it. I know the routine, and now can easily tell God my concern and say, “I’m handing this over. You know my heart, and I know You have my best interests in Your hands. I trust You.”
Many years have passed since I started using the God bag/my Royal Crown bag. And I must say each time I see that bag, I smile and say ‘You really are the Royal-est of Crowns! Thank You.’ But I’ve learned a lot and developed more and more faith and am so thankful He has guided my steps so well as long as I truly handed things to Him. He has always done right for me and ‘mybellaviews.’
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