I am a sinner
Psalm 19:7-11 The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple; the statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes; the fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever; the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb. Moreover by them Your servant is warned, and in keeping them there is great reward.
Psalm 51:1-4 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness; according to the multitude of Your tender mercies, blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, You only, have I sinned, and done this evil in Your sight—that You may be found just when You speak, and blameless when You judge.
I’m a sinner. I always have been. My thoughts are initially selfish, thinking of me first and foremost. Certainly, I can recognize that my thoughts have become less selfish than previous, but still there are sinful things in my nature that occur all the time. I don’t usually act on them, but the sinful thoughts appear, maybe tempt me into wrong-doing, maybe I have bad thoughts toward another, I eat improperly, enjoying sweets and things that are not healthy for ’this temple.’ And vow to change the next day, and succumb AGAIN to the lure of sweets and unhealthy fats.
So, it does not mean you are sinless when you seek God and He forgives you. He means you are initiating a relationship with Him, you learn more about Him and the plans He has for each of us, the expectations He has that we will grow in love, forgiveness, and becoming more and more like Jesus.
Never will I reach that level of maturity and being sinless. But I do find thwarting those errant thoughts which tempt me to do wrong bring me a thankful feeling of joy. The Holy Spirit has jumped into my mind and reminded me of what the proper thing to do is. It’s my choice to follow through and get my behavior in line with God’s wishes.
And when I do there is such a feeling of pleasure. It is pleasing to me when I obey. There is a flash of pride (and I wonder if that might be sinful, since being prideful can be!) But I believe God is more happy with the fact that I have not caved to the temptation of sinning and have instead corralled my thoughts and been obedient.
We were given freewill and has we walk closer with God, we learn more about His choices for us all to live. It’s a learning process and like all relationships, it is one that grows over time to become deeper and deeper. It is so worth it to me and ‘mybellaviews.’